Mandatory Blog Here

My girl collects ducks She thinks ducks are just so funny So I found these at a garage sale for 50 cents! What a bargain

My daughter was over the other day and reminded me of something that happened last summer I meant to blog about it at the time but forgot We were out one weekend hitting the garage sales and I thought I would show off my new iphone features I could use gps to find all the garage sales We wouldnt miss a one The only problem is I was not getting any signel but the dreaded E For those of you without AT&T that is the edge network It is so slowwwwwwwwwww Ridiculous slow. I am hanging out the window trying to get a good signel while mom is driving. Her: Which way Me: I dont know yet Her: I thought your handy dandy phone told us Me: I am on edge Her: Which way? Me: I dont know yet, I am on edge Her:You are on edge? Did you need a nerve pill Her: I got a nerve pill LOL....maybe it would help I dont know surely cant hurt

One 12 pack of Diet Mountain Dew for the daily consumption of one can each every morning for a happily married couple Day One - Pop on counter, Wife makes glass of ice, puts one in freezer for hubby who is up 30 mins later. Day Two - Still on counter, Hubby makes glass of ice puts one in freezer for wife up 30 mins later Day Three - Still on counter, Wife up first waits 30 mins dry mouth hears hubby making his ice begs for him to make her one too Day Four - Still on counter, Hubby up first makes his own ice yells at wife to put pop in fridge for the love of $%$% cant you put it in the fridge? Day Five- Still on counter, each makes their own glare at each other Day Six - Still on counter two empty ice cube trays in freezer Ahh True love Arent you jealous? hehe

We have this huge festival during labor day that comes to our town each year It draws celebraties at times not often and normally has been ones but still ....you know. A huge car auction Of course lots of things are going on in town also We normally make our escape and run away during the 3 days Silly tourists and all But this year since we couldnt really afford a luxurious vacation (If its not 4 star forget it, I will stay home work until I can afford one) I have however come up with a plan I think we are going to dress up like tourists Such as: Dumb visors Gawdy shirts Khakis Fanny Packs Camcorders around necks Maps in hand Say things like ....which way to the...............blah Just like be all dumb touristy in our own town We can take shuttle buses We can tell the local vendors how cute and quaint the town is We can ask for directions We can hit all the local attractions hundres of garage sales (ok maybe only 40 or 50 ) flea market craft show historical ho

I call this pic Goober says WTH? I walked in the bathroom Saturday and the carpet was wet right by the tub Quite satuarted really I figured someone got sloppy during a shower Not me I actually need a shower pretty badly hehe. The towel became sopped so I put another one down but by Sunday it was soaked too. Uh oh Something i leaking Hubby tore up the bathroom wall and decided handle is leaking runs down tub side and onto floor OK Easy enough fix But he said, since he was in there he would replace that wall it looks pretty nasty anyway its been leaking awhile Wow Ok that is ambitous, but go for it. After he was in there for 6 hours I opened the door and said How is it going? Fine I just have to tighten this nut. And I kid you not dear internet ... Like something out of a sitcom A bad sitcom A gush of water jetted out of the wall hit him full in the face and knocked him back on his butt. Did I panic? Did I scream? Of course not! I busted out laughing Because tha

First off, I love this song I know it is too young for me really but it is quite catchy I am terrible with using names So everyone I know has a nickname Boo=hubby Gamma =mom Geeb(hard G)=daughter Goob=goober the dog FRIEND(always in caps)=my friend What about you dear internet You have any weird nicknames for your friends and family

Mom may not always be able to find her Glasses Pills Keys Purse Shoes Bills Tax papers Parked car But she did find the itty bitty crown that broke off my front tooth that cost 1000.00 to replace. YAY MOM! and this is todays fortune just weird

Things Dads do Change diapers Take you to preschool Take you to your first day of school Watch Ren and Stimpy with you in jammies Dress up like Barny at your 6th bday party Take diva wife, you and your best friend camping and fishing Listen to them complain and moan and cry the entire weekend and still think it was fun Drive diva wife, you and your best friend on yearly vacations Listen to us yammer complain giggle and be generally annoying with no complaint Stop at every flea market, mall, silly attraction, ill timed rest stops along the way Teach you how to fish Teach you how to drive Teach you  how to change a tire Not beat the crap out of the boys you brought home Make up a silly pet names for you Love us all I am so jealous of you for having such a father. But I am really blessed with such a hubby Happy Fathers Day xx

I told you before about my Aunt Kate Here  when she made a beautiful quilt Here when she taught me how to be truly zen But I haven't told you about my Uncle Her partner while raising 8 screaming kids, frequent visits from her favorite niece(ME),and any other neighborhood kid who happen to tank a fancy to us all. Her other half was Uncle Norm For some reason to this day a lot of her kids call him Norm I don't remember how it got started but he didn't like it so it only made them call him Norm more often and I found it quite funny To me though he was always Uncle Norm Ok to be honest he was UNCKEE Norm Uncle Norm taught me many things I learned to cuss like a sailor when you are driving I learned comb overs never stay in place I learned grecian formula 1 doesnt work that well I learned that if you dont brush your teeth they will fall out but your 70 year old uncle would rather keep that last one left than let the dentist pull it. I learned you could paint

Me: Look at my tan! Him: What is that on your elbow? Me: That's a mole. Him: I never noticed that before? Me: Its always been there, bending, holding arm to look at mole. Him: Did it get bigger? Me: No! Him: What's on your nails? Him: Is that dirt under your nails? Me: WTH NO!  That is aa nail design. I got my nails done. Him: Oh it looked like dirt under your nails. Me: This is why you never get any. Him: I guess I am a dumb A#$#s Me: Yes you are. Him But I am all yours Me: Yes you are my dumb A$$ YAY me! PS here is a pic of my nails I think they look nice but what would a dumb man know anyway about nails

Me: Did you send Grandma that Cat Link Her: I AM NOT CATHOLIC Her: Not that there is anything wrong with that. Me: No I asked her if she sent you that CAT LINK Me: Show her on your iphone Her: Wait I gotta find my glasses Me: They are on your head  HAHA Anywhooo...Here is the Cat LINK:

My daughters very first words were thank you She was always handing me crap when she was young Her Rattle Her stuffed pig Her Teddy and being clueless why she was handing them to me I would just say Thank you So erm those were her first words Her second was Daddy Evidently he was more fun to play with than me. My cousin's first boy named Nevin, if you asked him what his name was would proudly exclaim I am NO NEVIN NO So I suppose it could be worse. My girl also use to say everything was some SOME pointing at candy SOME reaching for your glass As in I WANT SOME! Because I use to always ask her when she pointed at things Do you want SOME? Yeah I wasnt very good at teaching her to talk She made up for it later. the Tween years she started talking a lot and never stopped But thats ok too I love being a mom even though I never wanted kids I love knowing all the answers shhh internet dont tell her I dont have them She thinks I do which is good enough But now....

Last night I was watching the Biggest loser It was make over week They would show a persons before picture than they came out after their make over And I sobbed like a baby Mom and the girl were on msn boohooing right with me They showed Ashley (pictured above) who asked her mom at beginning of the show. What If I cant do it? Her mom replied But, What if you can? Yes What if she can? AND she is A freaking MOM moment I want to be that MOM!! What if you can??!!!' BOOHOOO SOB GASP OMG I was a mess Hubby was not in the house for first part of show so he came in last half During weigh ins Thin hubby who has never had a weight problem EVER Who thought he would be funny making snarky remarks Man boob jokes Fat butt jokes I kept telling him to hush Please dont I love this show it inspires me I mean come on since it started I have lost a pound I even joined Curves He kept going on and on though and finally....... I lost it I mean whacko lost it yelling At on

I bought my mother tickets to see Craig Ferguson's comedy show In a town near by US!!! YAY! I told her last night and she so happy I got up at 5am  and wth???she is still up I am too excited to sleep she says Erm ok YAY Go to bed I call her at 1230 and ask her if she wants to go to where else? Wal-mart Her: When Me: Do you still need a shower? Her: I was going to do that now Me: You said you doing it yesterday that is why you couldn't tan Her: Yah I was too excited last night Me: So what did you do all night? Sit around and grin? Her: Shut up I'll take one now give me a half hour I wish I could get that excited about something Don't you dear internet?

Yesterday was our anniversary 24 years! I have been married longer than I was single, Yikes Anyway people seem impressed and ask us how we do it So here you go dear internet just for you . The secret to a long marriage. Sometimes, two people ,after living together a long time, dont like each other ALL the TIME. They annoy each other. I know they love each other, dedicate their lives to one another, blah blah blah Yet Sometimes, they get an urge to slam a fork in the other ones head for breathing through his Stupid nose so loud. But ..... Wait for it here is the wisdom...... You continue to be polite. Pretend its an annoying coworker you have to put up with to keep your job. Pretend it is an annoying family member during the holidays. Pretend it is a random stranger who is in line behind you and making that awful noise I promise, the urge will pass and you will like each other again. He will do something sweet and you will forget all about that urge to scream Fo

Spring is here My town has lots of lovely colorful trees like this. When we moved into our little home we had a cherry tree in our yard too. It had beautiful birds like this living in it. Then it was struck by lightening. Now it looks like this And these live in it Yes we are slowly but surely becoming the Addams Family of our town YAY

I had to go to the court house to pay our property tax I took my mother with me so I would look doubly sad trying to struggle to pay my property tax late Poor me Taking care my poor mother Poor me dont I look sad and pathetic? They were nice anyway and didnt care I paid late Then they told me about some silly exemption that I wasnt aware existed would reduce my taxes by 1k a year and gave me some magical pink paper to apply. 20 years I have been paying 1000 dollars too much 20 years! Now who is the pathetic one? Anywho, I think our courthouse is lovely All this marble for such a little town and the vaulted ceiling We took the elavator up because mom said no way could she take those stairs. She headed for the stairs to go down on way out. Me: Dont you want to take the elavator Her: Oh no going down is easy Her: Ooooof, ugh. as she stumbles down two stairs catching herself Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg that is hilarious Me: I am going to pee my pants Her: Shut up M

Easter dinner was lovely But, whenever the family gets together we have to go on and tell the stories. Course we always laugh as it is quite comical I love my family They are all so funny and the best trait amongts them is we can laugh at ourselves It's a good thing because when my brother and I get together we always start in on my mom. This year she said we always laughed at her when she tried to discipline us. Her: I dont know why you always laughed it would make me so mad. Me: Thats because all you would do is yell, Stop looking stupid. Bro: No sometimes she would yell Stop being stupid. Me: Or tell you to Get your thumb out of your ARSE. Bro: She get mad if you laughed too. Me: I guess it made us look stupid. Bro: No I think it made her look stupid is why she got mad. Her: Oh dont be stupid. LOL Either way, she was hilarious. And yes I do on occasion, still look stupid.

Lovely spring Signs of life everywhere! But here, dear internet is the ultimate symbol of rebith My mother picked these up for me from her doctors office. Arent they lovely? Daffodils are the official flower of the American Cancer Society Be sure and buy some when you see them for sale. They gave these to her at her last Oncologist's appointment. They also said she is in remission. Everything is great and she could live to be 82 Rebirth indeed We are truly blessed Say a prayer of thanks with me friends and hug your loved ones or love your hugged ones Whatever makes you happy Life is great Enjoy!!

Me: I am going to redecorate this summer Him: Oh cool Him: We need new carpet Him: Gutters Him: We should get siding, vinyl siding Him: But we would need to get new windows first. Him: If we get new windows we could get central air too as we wouldn't lose so much energy .....Blink, Blink....... Me: I don't know about that, I was thinking new curtains and you know, a throw pillow Him: Oh Him: That would be nice WTH Someone is ambitious and it isn't me dear internet