Mandatory Blog Here

Martha Stewart I am not But during my frumpy domestic phase the last couple months, I tried my hand at baking. I made home made cinnamon rolls I followed the recipe closely. I did not flinch when I realized it would take 3 hours to complete and I started them at 9pm at night. I plodded on. I had already bought all the ingredients, except for vanilla, because everyone has a bottle of vanilla. Does that crap even expire? So after making the dough (1.5 hours), I figured out I didn’t have a rolling pin. WTH Did I ever own a rolling pin? Probably not. Chugging back the last of my six pack of Mike Hard Lemonade Lite (classy I know); I was ready to break out the hard stuff and call it a night. But whoa Nelly, Martha Stewart I am not but clever I am. That empty mikes bottle worked just fine thank you very much. Feeling proud of myself, I went on to the other steps, popped them in the oven and proceeded to make the frosting. I ransacked the kitchen looking for the old bottle of vanilla and fina

We have a lot of “family meals” we make. Meaning Mom made them. I make them The kid makes them. Informal meals with no name other than crap, slop, stuff, sh!t. As in : Hamburger Crap. Taco Slop Sausauge Stuff Tonights delight is Ham and Egg Sh!t. Delish! 6 eggs Some ham-cut up whatever you have is fine Some milk- I don’t know, so it kind of runny when your done, if its thick add more at end of preparation Some crackers crubled up. 3/4 a sleeve I suppose more or less Some shredded cheese, whatever half a bag or maybe 3/4s Some cut up onions and peppers to taste Bake at 350 about an hour or less Till its set and firm not burnt, whatever Enjoy

I am home now and once in a while I get this weird domestic bug up my arse and bake Hubby says he likes carrot cake Puke So I make a carrot cake cream cheese frosting Man eats one piece says it good 3 days later I throw rest away I like it with coconut frosting he says Um ok weird but fine Next time bug hits I make a carrot cake with white coconut frosting Hubby eats one piece Three days later throw rest away I like the brown clear type coconut frosting he says Wtf says I, are you talking abut German chocolate cake? Yes that is it That’s the kind of cake I like wtf So I buy the crap too make the stupid cake Eat half the can of the chocolate frosting for the sides Put coconut brown crap on top Mix rest of that in with the last half chocolate frosting for sides The stupid thing is huge two layers He better eat more than one piece That’s all I am saying It looks retarded anyway, Rachel Ray would cry at the site. I figure if he doesnt eat it I can just stick a fork in his head and be done

I, among other talents, can whip up a great tasting home made meal. That is not to say I am a good cook. I am however creative. I like To think of myself as queen of the 10 minute prep meal. Tonight I am making one of my favorite dishes. Home made Vegetable Soup: What you will be served, a steaming bowl of tomatoes based soup with a mixture of variable spices Succulent beef that falls apart at the touch, green beans, corn, peas, potatoes, onions, carrots and is that a hint of celery? DELISH! How it is made 1 huge cans V8 Juice 1 huge can of beef meat 2 cans whole new potatoes 1 can of corn 1 can of green beans 1 can mix veggies 1 can opener Thrown in a pot and cooked for an hour Sprinkle water on forehead to simulate sweat Yell at everyone to leave you alone for god sake I am trying to cook. Basque in the praise. SHHHH internet don’t tell anyone ;)