Thursday, June 10, 2010

Sentenced for Life

I have mentioned being adult ADD before somewhere in my blog
I dont feel like linking it
Ha go figure (its like details man no time for details)
Anywho..... dinking around with my meds and off them for a few days

This is not a good thing
Before I was diagnosed I was always STRESSED OUT
Stressed because the ADD mind has alot of things going through it.
A lot of projects to complete.
A lot of new projects wanting to be started and of course, all the silly annoying things to do with living.
Things like oh I don't know cooking,cleaning,working,care giving,living anything that is a pain in the @ss.

Long ago stress would boil over and I would lose it in the stupidest ways
Usually screaming at some poor min wage worker, doctor, customer service rep, loved one, who ever was in the way.
The bad thing about an Adult with ADD is there is no filter i
n our brain
We are also usually clever, articulate, and brutally honest.
McD employee screws up your change, scream at manager that you should put her non change counting butt back on fries and to shove the free apple pie for your inconvenience up your..never mind
Doc receptionist says doc will see you as soon as he can when you ask how late they are running, scream out loud how happy you are that they are going to see us as soon as they can, you thought they were dilly dallying around but are so relieved to know they are trying to get to you AS SOON AS THEY CAN, but that isnt what you asked is it? You asked how behind he was running but thank you for youur assurances!

Yah that was me
OMG what a horrible woman!
I am not that person anymore.
Sadly I thought it was because I had matured and grown and was a kinder happier wiser person

No
No I have not
Because after a couple days off said meds, while pulling out of the parking lot of the center with a check cashing store, a rent a center, and a Fashion bug, a woman in a junky car almost hit me.
We both stopped like you do when you have near collisions and she was looking at me I assumed she was scowling but later my mom pointed out she was just old and toothless and screamed at her
I screamed out
WTF you almost hit me, are you in that big of a GD hurry to make your rent a center payment you stupid B?
Yes dear internet I did

Hmm
Going back on my meds
I guess I haven't grown or matured
I just had that awful woman drugged up tied and gagged and buried inside me

Why am I sharing?
Because I feel really really bad
I wish I knew who that lady was so I could tell her I am sorry
I wouldn't blame it on not being on my meds either because that part of me is who I am and I don't like her very much
Lets tie her mean self back up and throw her in the closet and keep taking the meds that are the key to keeping her in there.
xx

5 comments:

  1. aww poor mom. Poor lady lol

    yes you really do need them. thank god you know that now. and its okay that you need them because at least we know what the problem is.

    still my favorite day at mcdonalds with you ever lol

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  2. Oh my...you really did go off, didn't you?

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  3. aww sorry it had to happen ,but its over so lets let it go. mom loves u and lady probley thinking silly lady is having a bad day .tomorrow better day :>)
    Heck today was better day .....

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  4. Wow, perhaps I should go on ADD meds, because that seems a lot like me. I just thought it was my anxiety working overtime though. I do like the brutally honest part though... my sisters enjoy bringing me shopping because of it!

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  5. Hi susan and it could be, what you call being anxious might just be your mind going into over drive. I am back to my meds and I really am an easy going sort of person that i want to be now. Thank you for commenting!

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