Thursday, August 27, 2009

Big Fat Lies

Sometimes you think you would like to lose weight to feel better.
Sometimes you delude yourself into thinking a few pounds never hurt anyone.

But you know you are fat when:

You work up a sweat when doing your hair and make up
All the tied bows of your shoes are on the side. (crossing legs to reach them)
All your jeans have ripped belt loops (from using them to pull them up)
You spend a half hour trying to find your fat jeans on your bloated days and realize you have them on.
The belt loops are torn off them.
You wonder if you can buy an antiperspirant for under your boobs
You got excited hearing they make a cream that prevents skin damage from your thighs rubbing together
You ask your skinny friend what she has in her pocket and realize it her hip bone
You do the parade wave so your underarms dont jiggle as much
People ask you if you lost weight because your face looks thinner.
You would never dream of getting on a scale unless you were naked and went to toilet first.
You wish you could do this at the doctors office.

And most of all you know you are fat when all of those things happen on the same day

7 comments:

  1. It would be completely hilarious if it weren't so completely sad. I feel ya with this. :(

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  2. Don't I know it.
    Maybe some day I will get thin and glam and can laugh but I doubt it hehe

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  3. lol friend you make me laugh :-)

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  4. lol i know it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened all in one day

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  5. hehe this is so funny and oh so true, I can even think of a few to add to this that happens each day

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  6. OMG this sounds like the day from hell.

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