Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Can I issue a amber alert for the sun?
Where is it?
It's almost May for god sakes
This isnt like Seattle or London!
Is it on strike?
What do I have to barter to get it to come back to work?

Dear Sun,

I miss you!
I am not sure why you are avoiding me?
Did you think I believed all that hype on skin cancer?
Is it my adulterous affair with the tanning bed?
I am sorry.
It was just a fleeting fancy.
I forgot the great times we had during the long winter months.
I thought I would, you know, keep in practice while you were gone and I never said we were exclusive?
Anywhooo, if you come back I swear things will be different
I wont cower from you or hide my eyes or scream you are too bright when I emerge from
my vampire cave.
I promise not to complain of the heat.
Hey how about I even plant some flowers?
Yes I know it has been three years since I tended my landscaping, but weeds need love too.
Some of them even have flowers on them.
Dandilions I've heard make a good salad.
I grew the best crop on the street last year because of you.
Tell me what you want?
If you cant come see me tell me where you are so I can at least come visit.

Signed pale and pasty in the midwest

Just Me.


  1. LOL this made me giggle. I prefer clouds and rain...not a sunny kind of gal.

  2. I have the Sun and he has decided to stay with me for a while because unlike you I never cheated and mourned his disappearecne all winter long LOL

  3. hehe i think he has taken pity on me and come back today

  4. Ok give me my sun back NOW!!! You can have the wind, I'm willing to give him up


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