Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Goldilocks is Freezing her TaTas Off

The only thing I enjoy about winter is the fashion.
I was made for fall fashion in my humble opinion
I adore sweaters, boots, lush coats, beautifully trimmed gloves and hats.
I have a full length leather trench style coat made from lambs leather.
It is soft lush lovely but lately I have been wanting fur for some reason
So off to ebay I bought a soft suede dove Grey leather coat lined in fur.
Sadly it was more a Elvis Blue Suede shoes type UGH
The fur was lovely and a removable liner so I took it to my tailor to have her fit it in my existing coat.
You could tell she was horrified by the request pushed at with her ruler and said " I don't do fur."
Fine!
How hard could it be it just a liner.
I will do it myself I thought
Hours later, fingertips bleedy from needlepricks, I model my new sleek leather coat with luxurious fur liner.
Unfortunately all it did was make me look as if I had gained 40 pounds
Fine!
I don't need real fur anyway!
Back on the internet sooner then the dog could tear into the nasty fur remnants left on living room floor, I discovered the store of my dreams.
Fabulous Furs is all Faux Fur worn by all the stars!
That sounds like me!
I should be a star.
I ordered a lovely faux fur brown jacket trimmed in fox.
I envisioned myself a star peeking at the camera shyly.
My lush shawl collar gleaming around me with wisps of fur hiding my timid smile.
So of course I had to order next day air.
I roused my mother out of her retired lazy days to park her arse at my house and await the lovely package.
I quickly rip it out inspect it model it and how beautiful.
Color? Subtle browns and blonds mixed together.
Touch? Exactly like fur, better then fur, you want to strip down naked throw it on the floor and just wallow on it.
Fit? Perfect it was made for me
I run to bathroom mirror model it giggle kiss my reflection
Fantastic.
But, wait, a glimpse in full length mirror confirms the fear
No this isnt the coat!
Its barely goes down to my waist
Oh my God it is so short all it does is cover my bust barely reaching my waist.
What the ......?
Fine so they use super short torso lacking women as models.
Fine!
Back in box it goes.
Never fear internet, it only took me 12 hours to find a longer one. A better one. The one.
I ordered today
Next day air

3 comments:

  1. Hehe so funny. This next one is THE ONE. Has to be. Though I can't imagine your smile ever being timid. ;)

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  2. you always make me laugh so much as thats the sort of thing id do and i agree winter sucks but i hate summer fashion more then anything urghhh luckily for me I live in the UK where its cold and rainy 80% of the time so im in my element!

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  3. YAY the third coat came and it is lovely. I am goldilocks three times and this one is just right!

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