Mandatory Blog Here

Morphing into a ...Moth Last year at this time I was getting eyelash extensions Or maybe it was the year before Anyway While I was working I was also cruising the net on the side and looking at Carpet cleaners WTH?? What has happened to me?

I had a phone call today and normally I dont answer any calls I dont recognize on the caller id but this one said Gallup Poll Organization. Wow! Really? I can be one of those people when they say recent Gallup polls indicate ..... YAY! Some of the questions though, I dont know. Is it good if the poll taker trying to sound all professional keeps busting out laughing? Here are a few questions that got her giggling and I thought my answers quite proper and professional. Did you eat 5 servings of fruits and vegatables yesterday Erm No But I ate at least 5 times. On a Scale of 1 to 10 economy wise how would you rate your life now 7 Where do you expect it to be in 5 years A 10, I am an optimist obviously. Would you say you are satisfied or dissastified with the job the president is doing Erm are those my only two choices Yes Erm.....Well it;s like moving in a demolished house and trying to remodel I suppose. No one likes the porta potty but you have to put up with it aw

I lost my crown Wahhhhhh I cant find it, help me Mom! Dont worry I am on my way We will find it Wahhh no it's gone Ok lets look here Alright Wahhhh I cant find it either It cost 1000 dollars Hey wait,Hubby is home early Yay I am home early from work WAHHHH in unison I lost my crown Mom cant find it either I will find it Dont worry Wahhh you cant find it either Well.......$hit dear internet It's gone Now I look like a hillbilly Glad I posted my picture of me before I lost my front tooth

I have gotten a few inquiries Basically it boils down to Who the H#$ll are you ? Here I am Now you know ;)

My name is Tammy and I  am addicted to my Iphone I have been without it for over a week, two weeks, FOREVER and all I can say is OMG I had no idea how much I used it I was constantly reaching for my nonexistent phone to -Check facebook -Read email -Play words with friends -Look up random actors on imbd -Shazam songs i heard on radio/tv -Map garage sales -Play music in my car via radio transmitter -Check bank balances -Text -Take pictures of Goober -Take pictures of Goober and the cat -Look at lol cats -Read books on Kindle Oh yah and sometimes I call someone So now you all know and thank goodness I found a good used one on ebay I am back baby

Sorry no updates I lost my iphone last week Very depressing as I love it soooooo much I am going to have to buy another :( I dont really have the money so I will have to try have a garage sale next week raise funds So sad though :( I hope you are all having a nice week 

I have a friend I met online We both are married Our hubbies act the same way ( Big babies) We have the exact same livingroom furniture They have one daughter They take their daughters best friend on vacations just like I did with my girls best friend. We are the same age We have the same kind of dog Her daughter even collects ducks like mine does We went on vacation together and were asked numerous times if we were sisters We have the same laugh.(think of chickens clucking) We ping each other on msn the exact second the other person sits down in front of puter We work the same schedules(stupid early) The other day I told her to put the cake down put it DOWN and she was all omg how did you know. Our moms have been married and divorced the same amount of times ( I wont say but its unusual) We both moved a lot as kids and went to same number of different schools. We were both slutty,wild,out of contro l,fun before we got married. We both spend way too much money It is c

Ask hubby  if he will do it Tell him never mind you will do it Whine you cant find car stuff Whine you cant get hose hooked up Wash the tires first rather then last Put too much soap on it Do it all wrong Thank him for helping when he grabs sponge in disgust and does it himself Try to dry it with a bath towel Look confused as he screams out in horror and grabs the shammy Tell him he was right that looks much better Tell him you are tired working so hard does he mind cleaning up mess Thank him for his help

So it has been a month since I joined Curves I have been going religiously,regularly,a lot, at least once a week. I am down two pounds! Yay it must be the diet I have been following, religiously,regularyly,faithfully, half arsed! Go Me! This month I am going to try really hard, sorta hard,hard, kind of, to do better Ha

You might remember, I pay my mom to clean my house 3 days a week This makes me act kind of like , oh I dont know a big sloppy teen. Today she came over and convo went like this. Her: Are these clothes dirty Me: No I am selling them on ebay Her: Oh so you are going to ship them Me: No, no one bought them. Her: OH, So you threw this towel over them because? Me: No I had that towel on the window to block out the sun. Her..blink blink Me: The sun shine through the curtains I wanted a nap. Her: But why is it on the floor. Me: I didnt want hubby to know and ripped it off right before he got home. Her: What is wrong with you? Indeed dear internet What is wrong with me? :)

All the seasons are wrapping up with their finales You know you watch wayyy too much tv in the winter time when you are excited about the finales. But tonight is the Biggest Loser This one I am really excited about. I hope Ashley wins If she doesn't win I hope she gets all her weight off. She is so young and beautiful Being the mother of a young beautiful daughter myself my heart just melts for her. So is it sad I am excited about a television show? Ok ok lets be honest here. Television shows as in plural Yes I have become one of those women 18 months ago I didnt have time to watch tv 18 months ago working full time and at home business, I didn't have time for friends family or anything. Yes I have become one of those boring women now who has to plan to go to the store because it is such a BIG ORDEAL going out. I mean you have to get dressed and everything. Do your hair right? So you know it is a big deal I enjoy having company and I plan out meals to cook. Y

Me: Look at my tan! Him: What is that on your elbow? Me: That's a mole. Him: I never noticed that before? Me: Its always been there, bending, holding arm to look at mole. Him: Did it get bigger? Me: No! Him: What's on your nails? Him: Is that dirt under your nails? Me: WTH NO!  That is aa nail design. I got my nails done. Him: Oh it looked like dirt under your nails. Me: This is why you never get any. Him: I guess I am a dumb A#$#s Me: Yes you are. Him But I am all yours Me: Yes you are my dumb A$$ YAY me! PS here is a pic of my nails I think they look nice but what would a dumb man know anyway about nails

My stupid laptop which I LOVE was broken The keyboard was stuck on OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO as in oooo lady give me a break I am sooooo tired of you. Or maybe it was OOOOOOMG not you again Could have been GOOOOOOOO away I am so sick of you. I like to think its because I work so much my keyboards cant keep up with me I have had to replace very single keyboard on every laptop I have owned I am sure its because I am so productive and not because I type with big huge paws pounding out misspelled words in random grammatically incorrect sentences, all Neanderthal man like. Link? Where is Link? I dont know he is missing HA! But anyway I got it back today because my good friend was able to just install a new keyboard for me So Yah I am back baby! Did you miss me? PS he is very reasonable and clever so if you need puter help email me and I will hook you up.

I saw one of those Captcha verification thingies you have to type in when you leave a comment or something on a web page It was But Melodies That is what I am going to call my farts from now on Butt Melodies HAHA My mom use to yell at me  What do you think you  pee rosewater or something, when I was being all uppity and snooty as a young girl Yes dear internet I was always a bit of a Diva even when we were dirt poor and on food stamps I think it just comes natural So from now on I do not Fart My butt is just singing to you!

I was at me fav hangout of late Walmart Who can diss Walmart? They have everything! It's all so cheap too! Instead of a the normal type Walmart cashier (I am not judging) they had a cute guy working it. He was a big flirt too. This guy had a definite MILF fetish going on Thank you DEMI! I was thoroughly enjoying myself and he seemed to be too. The woman behind me was getting quite annoyed at how slow he was scanning my many purchases I was secretly thrilled and happy I had done my hair make up nails and forgot to put my big wedding ring back on and dressed all trendy I swear I didnt look a day over 35 DONT you judge me internet! Anywhoo............ What fun. But then The stupid register asked him to compare signatures I had to show him my ID With the WORST PICTURE ever on it. Big fat big hair triple chin picture With my AGE on it Ugh I totally saw his face fall so much for check out boy fantasies Stupid whoever is in charge of the universe and their twiste

I mentioned earlier here that I wanted to do some redecorating this year. My house is old and crappy and a bit like the Addams family mentioned here . I dont much care what my furniture looks like I am quite pleased with myself that it matches. Well it did at one time. On second thought after only replacing a piece at a time when I absolutely have to I suppose they dont match any longer. To be honest I have every single color in my living space possible Red ,Mauve, Green ,Brown ,Tan, Blue and nicotine white. Also every color of wood. Ok never mind I am not much of a decorator or a housekeeper for that matter. If I had my way I would live in hotels and tear out the walls ALA Joe Cocker I was proud of my day bed and sent a picture to my very stylish friend who said it looked "comfortable" Hey I know a nice insult when I hear one. Yes it is, I pushed ,but what do you think of it. "It isnt something I would have but it fits in with your living room nicely."

I have always worried a bit about trying to look too young Is this skirt too short Do these nails look stupid Are they too long Is the colour design too crazy Do I look silly in my sports car Should I tan just a little or a lot. But now I have figured out the answer Tanning today I am starting to think I may be too old. First off the girls running it are like 80 pounds They're hairstyles seem crazy They wear way too many rings and good lord cover yourself up its not that hot outside But what is really getting me thinking is ......the music They play music in there and its all like WAY TOO LOUD What is that screeching guitar sound? Good lord why are the songs so long? Yup I think I am getting old. I will just have to take my ipod and listen to my old timey music next time. Maybe an audio self help book LOL

I am off to the tax man

I type a lot at my at home job Like ...ALOT Anyway I have never had a problem with wrist pain or anything like that. I have kind of always thought the typists who did are lazy,sitting wrong, whiney, you get the picture. Yes I am obnoxious that way. Something wrong with you? YOU must be doing it wrong. Wouldn't I make a great friend? LOL No fear internet karma has bit me in the ARSE My left thumb is like useless My left hand can not have any pressure on it. If I do use it I fall to my knees and scream in pain(ok not really but I could oh yes I could!) I also couldn't open my own medicine bottle Who the heck makes those bottles? I couldn't open the Aspercreme either Is that a sick joke or what, shrink wrapping it and a stupid pull off tab Are you kidding me? Anyway what is really wrong What is so not RIGHT Is I evidently haul my big fat ARSE out of the tub mainly using my LEFT HAND Yes I was stuck in the tub Because my big fat above mentioned arse is too

I downloaded scrabble for my iphone You can play other players on facebook or you can play the computer Evidently, I am stupid as I havent beat the computer once. Also I dont know the english language as well as I once thought I did I am too scared to play against strangers Anyone else a scrabble fan?