Mandatory Blog Here

I told you before about my Aunt Kate Here  when she made a beautiful quilt Here when she taught me how to be truly zen But I haven't told you about my Uncle Her partner while raising 8 screaming kids, frequent visits from her favorite niece(ME),and any other neighborhood kid who happen to tank a fancy to us all. Her other half was Uncle Norm For some reason to this day a lot of her kids call him Norm I don't remember how it got started but he didn't like it so it only made them call him Norm more often and I found it quite funny To me though he was always Uncle Norm Ok to be honest he was UNCKEE Norm Uncle Norm taught me many things I learned to cuss like a sailor when you are driving I learned comb overs never stay in place I learned grecian formula 1 doesnt work that well I learned that if you dont brush your teeth they will fall out but your 70 year old uncle would rather keep that last one left than let the dentist pull it. I learned you could paint ...

You might remember, I pay my mom to clean my house 3 days a week This makes me act kind of like , oh I dont know a big sloppy teen. Today she came over and convo went like this. Her: Are these clothes dirty Me: No I am selling them on ebay Her: Oh so you are going to ship them Me: No, no one bought them. Her: OH, So you threw this towel over them because? Me: No I had that towel on the window to block out the sun. Her..blink blink Me: The sun shine through the curtains I wanted a nap. Her: But why is it on the floor. Me: I didnt want hubby to know and ripped it off right before he got home. Her: What is wrong with you? Indeed dear internet What is wrong with me? :)

All the seasons are wrapping up with their finales You know you watch wayyy too much tv in the winter time when you are excited about the finales. But tonight is the Biggest Loser This one I am really excited about. I hope Ashley wins If she doesn't win I hope she gets all her weight off. She is so young and beautiful Being the mother of a young beautiful daughter myself my heart just melts for her. So is it sad I am excited about a television show? Ok ok lets be honest here. Television shows as in plural Yes I have become one of those women 18 months ago I didnt have time to watch tv 18 months ago working full time and at home business, I didn't have time for friends family or anything. Yes I have become one of those boring women now who has to plan to go to the store because it is such a BIG ORDEAL going out. I mean you have to get dressed and everything. Do your hair right? So you know it is a big deal I enjoy having company and I plan out meals to cook. Y...

Me: Look at my tan! Him: What is that on your elbow? Me: That's a mole. Him: I never noticed that before? Me: Its always been there, bending, holding arm to look at mole. Him: Did it get bigger? Me: No! Him: What's on your nails? Him: Is that dirt under your nails? Me: WTH NO!  That is aa nail design. I got my nails done. Him: Oh it looked like dirt under your nails. Me: This is why you never get any. Him: I guess I am a dumb A#$#s Me: Yes you are. Him But I am all yours Me: Yes you are my dumb A$$ YAY me! PS here is a pic of my nails I think they look nice but what would a dumb man know anyway about nails

Me: Did you send Grandma that Cat Link Her: I AM NOT CATHOLIC Her: Not that there is anything wrong with that. Me: No I asked her if she sent you that CAT LINK Me: Show her on your iphone Her: Wait I gotta find my glasses Me: They are on your head  HAHA Anywhooo...Here is the Cat LINK:

First thank you for entering and our winner is ............ cstironkat watch your email for verification

My stupid laptop which I LOVE was broken The keyboard was stuck on OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO as in oooo lady give me a break I am sooooo tired of you. Or maybe it was OOOOOOMG not you again Could have been GOOOOOOOO away I am so sick of you. I like to think its because I work so much my keyboards cant keep up with me I have had to replace very single keyboard on every laptop I have owned I am sure its because I am so productive and not because I type with big huge paws pounding out misspelled words in random grammatically incorrect sentences, all Neanderthal man like. Link? Where is Link? I dont know he is missing HA! But anyway I got it back today because my good friend was able to just install a new keyboard for me So Yah I am back baby! Did you miss me? PS he is very reasonable and clever so if you need puter help email me and I will hook you up.

CONTEST CLOSED THANKS FOR ENTERING I love to shop Always have Doesnt mean I am a smart shopper Once I went to this flea market with hubby and daughter I think she was about 6 This beautiful man was running some counter with antiques and crap Hubby wandered off and I bolted over there to see him...erm I mean his booth. I mean this guy was a god like creature fallen down to earth selling his wares He was quite the flirt too. I am quite the flirt We were flirting so shamelessly the girl yelled at him in her 6 year old high pitch voice SHES MARRIED SHUT UP says I and that bottle is lovely Yes its an antique perfume bottle I have 100$ on it and you can have it for 65$ Heres my card if you have any questions Swoooooon.......... Thank you cartoon muscle bulging Johnny Depp look alike but you are 6ft2 antinque dealer man The next week I saw the same bottle at Kohls for 10$ Yes I am that easy and stupid meh ANY WHOOOO how about a contest? What is your dumbest purchase...

My daughters very first words were thank you She was always handing me crap when she was young Her Rattle Her stuffed pig Her Teddy and being clueless why she was handing them to me I would just say Thank you So erm those were her first words Her second was Daddy Evidently he was more fun to play with than me. My cousin's first boy named Nevin, if you asked him what his name was would proudly exclaim I am NO NEVIN NO So I suppose it could be worse. My girl also use to say everything was some SOME pointing at candy SOME reaching for your glass As in I WANT SOME! Because I use to always ask her when she pointed at things Do you want SOME? Yeah I wasnt very good at teaching her to talk She made up for it later. the Tween years she started talking a lot and never stopped But thats ok too I love being a mom even though I never wanted kids I love knowing all the answers shhh internet dont tell her I dont have them She thinks I do which is good enough But now.......

I saw one of those Captcha verification thingies you have to type in when you leave a comment or something on a web page It was But Melodies That is what I am going to call my farts from now on Butt Melodies HAHA My mom use to yell at me  What do you think you  pee rosewater or something, when I was being all uppity and snooty as a young girl Yes dear internet I was always a bit of a Diva even when we were dirt poor and on food stamps I think it just comes natural So from now on I do not Fart My butt is just singing to you!

It's that time of year Spring is here You know what that means to this shopping diva, don't you? Garage sales ! I love garage sales But being a techno geek type diva we cant just be looking at newspapers NO NO that is so so ....80s What the stylish woman to do now? You need this ap Garage sale tracker Available on iphone Don't have an iphone? No worries they are giving two of them away FREE TWO OF THEM! Woohoo Contest is here  http://www.garagesalestracker.com/free-iphone-give-away.asp Track sales in your area Use the iphones GPS to map them Use the iphones internet to see if you can sell your purchases on ebay Use it to calculate costs Just you know........ use it cuz it looks cool Lets all enter this contest and do some serious shopping 2k style! Good luck!

Last night I was watching the Biggest loser It was make over week They would show a persons before picture than they came out after their make over And I sobbed like a baby Mom and the girl were on msn boohooing right with me They showed Ashley (pictured above) who asked her mom at beginning of the show. What If I cant do it? Her mom replied But, What if you can? Yes What if she can? AND she is A freaking MOM moment I want to be that MOM!! What if you can??!!!' BOOHOOO SOB GASP OMG I was a mess Hubby was not in the house for first part of show so he came in last half During weigh ins Thin hubby who has never had a weight problem EVER Who thought he would be funny making snarky remarks Man boob jokes Fat butt jokes I kept telling him to hush Please dont I love this show it inspires me I mean come on since it started I have lost a pound I even joined Curves He kept going on and on though and finally....... I lost it I mean whacko lost it yelling At on...

One of my favourite blogs to read is Ann Leary located here She has written two fantastic books, her blog is funny and she shares lots with her readers. Oh and her husband it that one guy Denis Leary. Today she took her flip cam out while she took her horse Mark out for his ride. She makes it look so easy! The one time I have been on a horse was during a cruise excusion I call this picture So Not Us My chubby friend and I were waiting around the coral and watched as the guides singled us out crying Here MAMMA You MAMMAS Over here MAMMAS Oh that must be the word for FAT ARSE you over there! Fat ARSE Mamma come here. After singling us out they put us on the biggest horses in the corral Yes Mamma must  mean fat. Everyone was told to get to know their horse by name Seabreeze Misty Golden girl and of couse mine GREG Watch out Greg Bites Watch out Greg likes to gallop Watch out dont put Greg by the other horses he likes to kick On top of this they pronoun...

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