Mandatory Blog Here

Pet me! No! Pet me! You would think, looking at this picture, that these pets get no loving or attention. In reality they are just jealous of each other and cant stand it if one is getting attention

Im working or trying too Goober is in the other room with one of his toys Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee squeaky says Weee we Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Goober what do you have? Stop it Gooober comes in I dont have anything Why Goes in other room Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee weeeee Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee I get up from working Dang it (*&* you are driving me crazy. But I was sitting on it It sounded far away because, my fat arse was muffling it and evidently im so fat I dont even notice sitting on such things anymore Sorry Goober My Bad

You are an idiot Why are you being such an arsehole. I am not being mean to Goober He went in the litter box for gosh sakes! He is lucky he doesn't  live on a chain in yard now Goober go lay down Goober get away from me. Stop looking at me like that I am not trying to pick a fight. Boo hoo sob That commercial is so sweet Maybe I should go to a fat farm I think I will I spent hours researching one I am going to go for 3 months What do you mean I cant go You dont care about me You are selfish No I didnt get any sleep I havent slept in 24 hours probably because of you and how you drive me insane. Who can sleep. I dont feel like working Just because, what you mean why dont I feel like working I got someone to cover I don't know how long Why should I work all the time All I do is work No one cares They just want more more more You all just want more more more the more I give more you want. Its never about me always you you you  No I don't want to go

  I posted this picture before showing you how we are hunkered down for the winter But you can see my two pets, Goober and Beuhla get along very well. They are very close. She likes to lick his head  He likes to lick her um....other end. Since we got him as a puppy and she has always been friendly to other animals they are almost like siblings. Ok bear with me I am going to go off topic but it does all tie in  When Goober was a puppy, he was very easy to house break He would always go peedies outside through the pet door. However he would poo in house for quite a bit longer I could never catch him in the act. I would not scold him of course just clean it up and throw it away He always watched me clean it up and we tried hard to catch him in act. To be honest i have never seen him poo, he doesnt like to do it when anyone is watching I can walk him two miles and he wont poo.(ok two blocks who am I kidding walk 2 miles) Such a modest dog. He started going right by the trash where I was

For lunch today I could have one of these   Or one of these   or I could have this cholate turtle the size of a baby's fist    So what did I choose? I ate them all of course  LOL

 I get on the scale and I am up 7 pounds Seven! WTH? Then I notice my socks are like erm too tight Oh wait I have not had any blood pressure pills for oh I dunno , a week Boy was my face red LOL(get it? your face gets all red when your blood pressure is high) Anywhoooo I went and got them filled so thought I better take 2 of them Slept 10 hours they make you so sleepy Pee'd 8 gallons I swear. Woke up light headed Took my bp it was like 110/70 Good lord I am almost dead But hey I was down 6 pounds Why does that make me think it was all worth it? Not to fear internet, it is back to normal now I am going to try slim fast for a few weeks to see if I can jumpstart my diet. I am on day 3 and so far doing alright 2 shakes a sensible dinner, easy peasy right? Only problem is my dinner keeps getting earlier and earlier I think today I will have dinner at 3pm maybe 2:30 if i can hold out. I figure if I am sleeping all the time with these stupid winter blues I might as wel

Sometimes I break out in song for no reason. Not any well known song. Just random tunes in my head and I sing out whatever I am thinking. This of course has drove my family nuts for years. This morning dear hubby trying to be all snarky asked what my plans were for the day. He implied I was going to sleep all day, again, like usual. I busted out in my loudest proudest American Idol Audition type Singing Voice. I sleep till one, while you work all day. I make more money than you anyway! After which I proceeded to laugh merrily and evil like. He went to work without giving me my good bye kiss :(

Mom calls to wake me out of my 10 hour slumber I am stuck in the alley My alley? No My alley Ugh Nevermind OK Click I call her back, Ok let me get dressed I throw on a pair of heavy jeans that I cant zip up over my fat gut Throw on a long sweater to cover open zipper Put hubby's hoody on and stumble down my alley to get to her alley On the way I am thinking what the heck, how am I going to get her out? I am out of breath walking over here. She should have put some weight in her trunk AHA Moment Open your trunk says I What Open the trunk I am going to sit in it My massive weight gave her the traction to get it moving Then we rocked it back and forth until she could back back in driveway and go out the other side of her paved parking lot See! Being fat does come in handy

Arent Women suppose to be hardcore nursemaids, caretakers, housekeepers, invincible warriors on the home front? Do they not take pride in their home, cooking, care, motherly ways and womenly loving shkills. If so I have to say when it comes to myself, Epic Fail Todays example: Changed kitty litter, dry heaved and threw up in garbage bag during entire process. Made a ham and cheese omelet, discovered no butter for toast, but had butter flavord crisco left over from baking, tried to pass it off on unsuspecting hubby. Brushed golden retriever long shedding hair on porchs,couldnt find his dog brush, used hubby's instead telling myself I will clean it before he notices. Forgot to take trash bag with me so threw hair clumps in recycle bin. Made homemade bread in bread machine on express bake, middle not done so served from sides instead. Overslept till 1pm, used washcloth on body,parts I could reach, and sprayed body spray on remaining offending parts. Slumping around in sam

I got an email saying I had been selected to win a prize The contest listed was one I had entered It had an attachment of rules prizes etc. I checked the forum of sweepstakes I enter and its all legit Prizes are 1st a 1000$ Best Buy card 2nd a Tivo DVR 3rd 100$ worth of dvds YAY I will take any of those But the stupid thing said expect an email telling you how to claim your prize you have won WTH You did email Why not tell me in that email Now I am stalking my inbox like a nut Do they just like to mess with you? edit to add I just read it again and it does say I won the family prize pack which is dvds 100 $ worth YAY I wonder what they are?

  I am freaking freezing. We decided if we arent working we are just going to stay in bed I have my new warm quilt to keep me cozy and of course these two also like to lay on top of me and keep me warm How are you all handling it.

  We all went to see Avatar last night Lots of rave reviews It reminded me a lot of the film Ferngully Also a lot like the film Dancing with Wolves Plus that blue skin made me think of smurfs It was one hour too long in my opinion But only because I needed a cig and had to pee  Didnt really need a blue smurf shag scene The orange dragon at the end kind of looked like some emo teens skateboard paint job  But and I am sure I am not telling you something you havent heard already The freaking graphics and 3d is like all kinds of awesomeness What are your thoughts? On a funny note, we all drove to movie in same car and convo took a weird turn see below The girl: We are getting a big tax refund Me: We always have to pay Hubby: I dont get why we always have to pay everyone gets big refunds Me: I own my own business and dont have any dependants, of course no refund. Hubby Well it sucks Me: Fine you want me to have a bunch of babies The girl : HAHAHA you cant have babies

I entered this contest http://www.everythinginvisible.com/ They are giving away 100 gift cards for pictures of the dirtiest windows. YAY So me being a big slob all I had to do was decide which filthy window in my house to take a picture of for submission. I chose this one, which I posted on my blog before. One because I already had the picture and two because Goober is all kinds of cute, I was hoping it would sway the judges. It worked I won Yay Goober and his piggy slobbery ways! Go enter everyone! It is an ongoing one every month.