Posts

Showing posts from 2009

Honey Don't List

I know there are a lot of wives who have Honey Do Lists I had never heard of this phenomenon until I worked with a bunch of men They would go on how they got some things off the honey do list done over the weekend. I remember when I heard what it was, that it seemed silly These are grown men why do they have to have their wives tell them what to do I have never been one to nag or tell a grown man to fix things he knows are broken. They all assured me that it helps, so I thought I would give it a go. I put three things on a list Simple things Hubby was off work for a week for a week so three seemed a good start. Convo below Me: Did you do anything on that list Him What list Me The honey do list Him what Me Remember I wrote down three things you could do on your week off Him Oh yah I buried that wire in yard Me What wire Him That one you said Goober dug up Me That wasn’t even on the list. Me You used your foot Me You were holding a beer at the same time Him Yah Him

Goober is a Bed Hog

Yes that is me yammering snorkling cackling in the background

Adventures in Typos

Adventures in Typos On msn Me: I bought Hubby a magnifying glass for his sock Her  :What? Me: You know a magnifying glass so he can see Me: It's hard getting old cant see anymore Me: He can use it in garage Me: He has one in house but he always coming in to get it for garage so now he have one out there Me: It's 5 x oh and it lights up Her: Erm did you say you got him a magnifying glass for his “#$#”ock (rhymes with sock) Me What? No his sock, his Christmas stocking Her OMG ME LOL

Nail Biting Experience

Image
I am trying to be less high maintenance and Diva like to save money I thought I would try and do my own nails. I have gotten my nails done for years. It doesnt look that hard. Put some goop on, buff the heck out if it, paint it, easy peasy Plus instead of wasting time at salon I could do it at my leisure at home. I know! I am so smart and thrifty. Yay me! So I bought this. Thats a lovely start. I still missed the airbrush designs on tips though. So i bought these And these But these are boring after a while. Plus when you put the goob on over top they fade you can barely see the design after all that buffing. So I bought this. Which of course is worthless without these But ... I found something out. Doing nails is HARD! If I let my ADD self do them I am constantly at them Buffing,redoing, starting over, reapplying,painting, ruining brushes, losing nails in embarrassing places and at inconvenient times, making my cuticles bloody, and even forcing hubby t

YAY Cookies

Image
Me and Hubby made cookies last night Was quite funny as we were quite drunk by the time we got to decorating part. I wonder if you can tell? Some of the gingerbread men look a little deranged Oh well , it was fun and its the best thing to eat for breakfast when you are hungover

Simple Now

Great news. If you are away from your puter and your bookmarks and readers but dying to read my blog, you can now just type in www.mandatoryblog.com and it will bring you here I might even rename this blog header to Mandatory Blog It just says it all doesn't it?

A Major Award

Image
I have been entering a lot of sweepstakes lately So far I have won A pair of skis A samsung behold II cell phone and A Idrive portable usb back up drive. Needless to say I have been stalking my mailbox, email, and my heart stops when the UPS or Fed Ex driver goes by. I read the sweepstakes forums on peoples suprise wins. Things will just show up on peoples porches. Prizes they didnt even remembering entering. YAY Yesterday a suprise box showed up on my porch. YAY a win! Told dear hubby, look a win! YAY a major award. This is what it was. OHHH Goober won a major award. COOL But wait, its not a award Its a christmas pressy for goober from my florida friend AWWWW Goober says thanks No he isnt spoiled Not at all No I am not full of myself expecting major awards every day Not at all LOL

It's an F'd Up Life

Image
We watch It’s a Wonderful Life every Christmas season. Hubby watches because he thinks it sentimental and sweet. I watch it because it is so messed up and twisted and can’t believe I am only one who seems to realize it. I am going to assume you have seen the film and began my rant. Yes, life would suck if George hadn’t been born but what if George had made a few different decisions His brother would be alive because he would be there to save him still it happened when they were young. The pharmacist wouldn’t have killed off some poor family in his drunken haze because George was still at home he hasn’t gone any where yet, no worries. So let move on to George first dumb arse attack He stays to work the family business to send his brother to college instead. Ok that’s cool. He could have turned it around if he had any sense and made enough money so they wouldn’t have to worry about Evil Rich Mr. Potter. He could have fired his dumb stupid Uncle Billie or put him on phones

Goober says

Image
It is time to go to bed already!

Time to Care

Image
Last year I was working a full time office job along with putting 30 to 40 hours in my at home business. I made gobs of money. I also did this for the family Christmas Tree I believe I plopped it on there exclaiming Merry Flipping Christmas! This year I dont work at the office any more I put this tree up. I got to look at each decoration and remember when it was acquired. I even got a little weepy when I put the green macoroni ornoment made by the girl in daycare Sniff Merry Christmas everyone! PS Dont get me wrong, still miss the money and my New Years Resolution is to work more LOL But it is a nice tree

New Love

Image
My Girl just got married last May They are so in love She uploaded this picture onto Facebook. Look it's two struedels One has the arm around the other. ME: How cute. One for each of you. Her: No, I ate them both. Her: But I sent him a picture. LOL That is my kid Definately

Time Warp

The hubby got a day off work this week Tuesday to be exact Weird I know So on Monday night he is acting like it’s a Friday and keeps me up yammering till 1130 I am up at 4am so was you know kind of tired Tueday night,I fall asleep at 9pm 10pm he says DID YOU MESS WITH ALARM Wth?? You woke me up to ask me that? Fuming P.Od at him Get up and can’t sleep At 11:30 (he is up at 430am) I holler at him DID YOU FIX THE ALARM????? Funny Ahh blessed revenge is sweet.

From Gamma with Love

Image
Gamma bought Goober a new toy A lovely chicken Click here to see Goober enjoy it aww Gamma is so nice He seems a little worried I might take it away though? Who me? Never. Dont worry Goob your loud obnoxious chicken is safe.

One of a Kind

I woke up last night with an itch After scratching, thought I might as well get up and go to the bathroom. When I sat down something really sharped poked me in the rear. I jumped up and looked behind me. It was one of my finger nails. It must have came off when I was scratching my @rse and was hiding in my jammies. I had to stop and wonder. Do you think that has happened to anyone else? Like ever? Probably not.

Great Giveaway

Image
You have got to enter this great give away They are giving away a new phone every hour and a LCD screen every day Look I entered twice and won! woot its located here http://game.beawinnergiveaway.com/index.html Good luck

The Winner is ME!!

I left the house for like, oh I dont know, 10 minutes yesterday. While I was out the mailman put in a notice of a certified letter in our box. I am sure he had to be on the look out to be able to leave it whilst I was away. Anywho.......... Certified letters are never good news but it said the sender was OVERTONS WTH? Who is that? Do I owe them money? Is it an Ebay purchase? Why Certified? It has to be important! Stupid thing said I couldnt pick it up at post office for 3 more hours! Hes probably not going to get done with his route till then and has to sit in his car waiting to miss other homeowners. But then...... I remembered! Last spring I entered hundreds of sweeps You can find them on this forum http://www.online-sweepstakes.com/ I did enter a contest for Overtons They are located here. www.overtons.com OMG First prize 15,000 dollars So me being me and all optimistic Pinged, Im'd Tweeted, facebooked, told every single person I know all about it. YAY We just had to wait thre

Cure for Blues

Feeling blue? Watch this If you don't laugh then you are not human and you need to tell us how long you will be visiting our planet.

Upgrade in Humility

Image
I was looking on eBay and the old Iphones are going for 299.00 for the 16 GB I was all holy crap I have one of those. So I went to AT&T and the new Iphones are 99.00 Wow It doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out I sold my old 16 GB for a sweet 300 bucks. I bought the new Iphone for 100 bucks Bragged about it to everyone I know how I made 200 dollars How clever I am How crazy the world is How nuts it is someone to buy something older when they could buy new for cheaper. Twittered it. Facebooked it. Spent the profit on foolish things while waiting for my new super duper upgraded Iphone3GS I assume the S is for super duper. It came. It’s not the S It’s the old Iphone The old iphone refurbished It’s an 8 GB I so totally downgraded for 200 bucks What a loser

I'd go with you But........

Image
(windows classic screen saver) I was working the other day and some stupid life time movie was on. I couldn’t find the remote (meaning not in eyesight), so I left it on. The ending was some passionate couple, separated by weird but noble circumstances, who in the end run away together to live happily ever after in paradise. Sapping ending of course but yours truly is not heartless. I thought how nice and romantic. Then my mind wandered to wouldn’t that be nice to retire to paradise. Being all ADD I soon started ticking off the reasons it would so suck for me. My hair gets all bozo big in humidity I would have to wear less clothing and my spanx would show I sweat under my boobs Since hitting my 40s I sweat in Wal-mart what would happen in tropics My make up would slide down my face and my lover would see real me Skinny women in skimpy clothes would be everywhere I would have to wear sandals and I have never gotten a pedicure in my lif

Hipster Dufus

Me:You forgot to do that! Him: Oh my bag Me: What? Him: I forgot. OK? Give me a break. Me: Did you just say my bag Him: Yeah my bag, my fault , as in sorry Me: It's not my bag. Him: What? Me: It's my BAD . Him: No it isnt. It's my bag. They say it at work all the time. Me: You say my bag at work? Him:Yes . Me: Do they laugh? Him: Ohhhhh yah usually they do. Me: That's because its my BAD not my bag. Him: Oh well....my bad. Me: Exactly. LOL

Mom Knows

Image
Her: What is that? Me: What? Her: There is something in the side of your chair, a sticker or something? Me: (looking) Oh no there isnt. Thats nothing. Her: Oh its nothing? What is it? HIM: It's probably a candy wrapper ME: FINE! Rips out candy wrapper,another,and yet another. ME: Fine!Fine! They are candy wrappers. Here look! There are lots of them. Fine I am weak! Weak I say! Him: I knew that is what it was Her: Sorry LOL I cant get away with anything How do they do that?

Touched by an Angel

This is such a hard time of the year for me. I posted a entry yesterday joking how I am down because I have no one to dress up for Halloween but that is only part of it. That is me joking my way out of a blue mood. I hate this time of year Its getting cold Another summer has come and gone and I didn’t get super fit like I said I would Daylight hours get shorter Fall taxes are due End of year taxes are going to be due soon. Christmas expenses are coming up. My birthday is coming up and I am going to be older There are so many things to get depressed over and whine about if I really wanted too. Normally I do get the blues this time of year. I don’t any more though. Because two years ago my friend lost her dear little boy to a tragic accident Read the story here. http://www.wftv.com/news/14504549/detail.html You can read a poem I wrote about witnessing her grief here. http://mandatorybloghere9.blogspot.com/2008/11/witness.html You can see his memorial here http://cayden.huels.muchloved.c

Best in Show

Image
I miss having a little one for Halloween Being the conceited diva mom that I am, Halloween gave me a chance to show off my cleverness, imagination, and awesome crafting skills. Unfortunately my little diva wanted to be whatever was freaking popular or girly that year. Things like A princess A cheerleader A Fairy Disney princess of the year (Jasmine, Areil, Belle) BORING! But you have to make them happy right? What is a creative genius like yours truly to do? Thankfully her best friend was the youngest of four. Her mom was tired and they all went as hobos each year. The girls BFF would let me dress her as I pleased. YAY! I got to dress her as An Awesome pirate( we just love Pirates of Caribbean that year) A scary wolf ( went with riding hood and grandma costumes) A computer bug A crayon A big baby Another year, I got to dress my own mom up as an IPHONE Sadly, it was for a contest at the bingo hall and all the oldies kept asking her if she was a calculator. Such fun! Sadly though this y

Reviews

Image
I have just signed up to do a few reviews on my site Things that might interest my readers But mainly things that interest me YAY me I am using this site here blog advertising

Housing Slump

Image
They say the housing slump is over in my adopted town. I am having trouble believing it. This cute home has been on the market for a while now with no bites. Look how lovely her landscaping is Its on a gorgous street. Nice and quiet, manicured lawns and well cared for homes. A great place to raise your kids. Such a puzzle why no one has made an offer yet. Unless, Its this house that is right next door. Does anyone even live there? This neglected yard that obviously has no love? Yes of course someone lives there! This is my house! I dont get why my neighbors are selling? I dont understand why people are not flocking to buy it and live next door to me. LOL Do you? Maybe I can talk hubby into just running over them with the riding mower this weekend. It couldn't hurt

All Work and No Play

Image
Makes Goober sad

Nanna Knew

When I introduced my sweet hubby to my grandparents 20 years ago, he was a bit horrified how they talked with one another. They had been married almost 50 years at the time, and during dinner while Grandma was talking to my sweet love, Grandpa said loudly and rudely "Push your glasses up!" Grandma did, and carried on with her story without missing a beat. When we were young newlyweds a new show was on fox called Married with Children. A huge hit. We didnt get it. Why didnt Al want to make love to Peggy? Why didnt she want to cook for the man who allowed her to stay at home with her kids. Why didnt Peg want to cook for her kids or keep a nice home? Well dear internet its is now almost 24 years later and I noticed over the weekend the hubby and I say things to each other on a daily basis we would not have dreamed of a two and half decades ago. Things said this weekend by one or both of us listed below: Stop picking. You @sshole. Could you turn that sh*t down? What the h#ll did

Saturday Drive By

Something different today. I filmed a quick drive by of my adopted town Mayberry You can see all the lovely homes, how close they are packed together and all the huge trees I am always yammering about. Its really windy so the sound quality is terrible Let me know if you see a house you would like more pictures of and I will try and feature it on a Tuesday around Town entry Also, you get to hear me yammering in the back ground and yes I do sound that silly in real life.

Too Little Too Late

Image
Last month I bought an Iphone Application called Bill Minder It is Fantastic Bill minder reminds you when your bills are due Who to pay How much And total amount you still owe for the month at a glance YAY Just what I need. Sadly when I charged it on my debit card. It bounced It was 99 cents LOL How funny. Not to worry dear internet, its all been taken care of and I am on track to getting handle on my cash PS here is link to them if you are interested. Bill minder : http://return7.com/

Tuesdays Around Town

Image
Yes I know I havent done one in ages. I would give elaborate excuses if I could, but I wont. OK maybe I will whine just a little bit. I have been trying to diet and work out and failing miserably. I have been working lots trying to get out of debt and failing miserably I have been trying to organise my house and time and failing miserably So what the heck, I will put some pictures up of my beloved adopted town. First off the canopy of trees on the streets. I love them in the Fall it looks like you could go down this street and get lost in some sort of wooded mythical maze. What is that one line this road goes yonder or something poetic like that. This house is huge but look at the red tree right dead center. I wonder if they planned it that way. Either way I love how its green everywhere and that red hits you smack in the forehead I think this house looks out of place it looks as if it should be in new england or something but its crammed between the other homes. It needs to be in Con

Someone Must Care

Image
I am so out of blog content. I sit around in a stuper in my boring life and wonder why I bothered starting a blog and why anyone would bother reading it. So desperate for inspiration, I bought this book It is a great book. Like the title says bloggers have to refrain from blogging for the sake of blogging and not just list what we had for lunch. Because that is boring. Telling people what you did all day and had for lunch is mind numbing and silly. But.......... Do people eat like I do? I dont think so. I had a bag of these for lunch. After that, I ate a box of these. Come on! How can that be boring LOL

Goober's Reaction to Marley and Me

Image
He's Like what? whats so bad about the way Marley is acting? I don't get it.

In Case of an Emergency

Her: Ack chest pains I'm going to doctor Me: OK Her: Never mind, they are gone now Me: Go anyway Her: No it’s stupid Me: Ok but call them Her: I called they said I should go to er Me: Ack ok you want to go to E.R. Her: No Me: Oh are you sure Her: Yes it stupid I’m fine Me: Ok but we can go it doesn’t matter you have insurance lets just go Her: No I’m fine Next day Me: Want to go shopping Her: Yay ok Me: We can go to city Her: Yay alright Ring Me: You ready to go Her: Ack no I have chest pains Me: Ok let’s go to E.R Her: Ack yes omg it hurts I’m dying Me: Ok Me Vroooooooom Me: We are here no worries get a wheel chair 4.5 hours later No cigs No food Dizzy Me her in unison: Omg what is it doc give it to us straight Him: You have indigestion Us: YAY Her: I feel stupid Me: Don’t feel stupid let’s drive home yay Her: I’m hungry Me: I need a flipping cig you got any money? Her: BURRRRRRRRRPPPPPPP Me: YAY I have blog content Just teasing internet. We were both very relieved and alway

Poor Goober

Goober is a Golden Retriever. They are prone to allergies and skin conditions Sores from digging, allergies, ingrown hairs all sorts of take care of my luxiurious coat I am a beatiful golden type things. He has been scratching his side a lot lately I looked and he had a big sore on his side. OH NO!!!! I have been neglecting him He is not getting the care he deserves. After much research, I found out I could give him some antihistamine and I ordered some very special shampoo and salve to put on his tender hide. Poor Goober. I bought anti-itch sprays for him too. The poor baby. Today he was digging I was trying to distract him with new toys Dont dig goober. Come here mommy will love on you. But then, something fell to the floor. What the #$#@? Goober did not have some sore on his side caused by his baby like pure bred pedeigree my granddad won the west minster best in show sensitive golden retriever skin. It was a wad of gum. He had a wad of gum stuck on his fur against his skin. GUM!

Stupid Fat Mii on Wii

Image
My Fat Arsed Mii So I been faithfully working out every day Like a lot! I do the wii fit for 20 mins(aerobics) plus yoga I do the bike for 10 as fast as I can pedal. I end up drenched in sweat out of breath all hot and miserable But that is fine because that is what you have to do right? Two weeks I haven't lost one pound! I am exactly the same. Stupid working out is not enough I am going to have to go on a stupid diet too Dammit So stupid Meh Stupid diets Stupid mii looks like a beach ball with legs I may be fat but it all in my T and A LOL so funny

A Fork in the Head

My long term readers might notice I use that statement a lot. A fork in the head. Did you put a fork in his head? He is lucky I didnt put a fork in his head. Are you done? Should I put a fork in your head? But where did this odd statement come from. I will tell you. When I was growing up I was around my Aunt's house a lot. She had eight kids Yes eight. All within 1 year of each other. I was there a lot because once you have eight what does one more matter? During dinner one evening, one of her evil spawn put a fork in her sister's arm because she went for her piece of chicken. During screams and wails and blood and getting ready to go to the hospital my Aunt said calmly At least she didnt stick it in your head. True zen

Politically Correct Hubby

Me: I am doing yoga Him: I know I can tell you look great. Me: I have only been doing it a week Him: Yah but you have that glow you look fantastic. Me: Anywhoo, this one position really really hurts my back. Him: Show me Me: Grunt pant twist ughh owwwww "Tadah" Him: That is very good Me: Yes doesn't that look like it hurts, wouldn't that hurt your back too? Him: Yes it looks very painful when you do it Me: What do you mean when I do it? Him: I mean if I did it and was in the shape you are in, it would probably hurt. Him: I mean I work out more than you do that's all Him: You look great Him: I bet lots of women couldn't do that Me: You can shut up now Him: ok Him: Your hair is pretty Me: Bite me

Diva Days Gone By

Image
It is no secret to my readers that I consider myself a Diva. I am a lazy one though and I do most my shopping online and have often wondered how did Divas manage before the internet. What about before the TV shopper Channels or worst yet Malls, Walmart, or Strip Malls. Here is your answer. They had the Sears Catalog It's massive and this one is a reproduction from 1897. Buy yours here. First I would outfit my baby in this sporty thing. Do you imagine they parked them outside? Where would you put it? In the carriage house? I could buy all the latest fashions Sadly they only have eight pages of woman's clothes. Eight! What would a clothes whore like me do? I suppose since I wasnt wasting my time aimlessly surfing blogs or watching bad tv, I could learn how to sew and make my own magnificent creations on this wonderful device. I would probably be too stressed out from all that work though and have to buy a whole bunch of these things, for my woman problems. How fun! Just think 1

How to Blow a Diet

Image
First work out a lot so you feel like you can cheat just a little. Tell hubby yes you can go buy (stupid man purchase request) if you pick me up a candy bar too. Discover frozen cookie dough in your freezer Stop riding the stationary bike to eat a coney dog And there you have it. See pretty easy isn't it!

Must Dance Now

This baby looks like he just has to dance but he doesnt know why So funny! I see a future diva here!

Goober is Worried

I worked out this morning. Goober looks at me the entire time as if aliens have invaded my body and he doesnt know what is wrong with me. He cocks his head to the side and whines. He is probably confused because of all the odd noises I am making. Transcript below: Wii Fit vs Me WF: You're a little shaky ME: Piss off WF: Well done keep it up ME: Gah ouch Hurry up WF: Good job! Come back every day to improve. You get 1 fitness point! ME: Geezo for #$%# SAKE! 1 point?? WF: Keep going you are half way there. ME: Gasp pant ugh huff puff gah Goober: whines ME: Goober get out of here go lay down. WF: You've unlocked a new strenth exercise ME: Gasp ugh puff Bike vs Me along with ipod 1 min: If you like it you shoulda put a ring on it 2 min: La la la la lah lah 3 min: Gasp huff puff ugh argh ring on it ugh 4 min: You're sex is on ....gasp ugh pant...fire 5 min: huff gasp argh pant DESIRE Honestly I dont know why he gets so upset or worried

Winner

The winner of the dating contest is drumroll........... Msrodeobrat Thanks for entering and i will email you for details to send your awesome prize

Yay We Won

Image
The other day Mom and I had Subway for lunch. As she was slurping on her giant diet coke I reminded her they had an ongoing contest on side of cup. She tore off the tickets but couldn't read what was underneath. We looked closer to no avail. We even got out these, still no help. Finally squinting, with glasses, holding it under a huge flashlight, we figured out the entry wasn't on the cup but on the tiny ticket we had torn off. YAY it said we won Too bad we smeared all the ink off in our old lady fumbling.

Yay another Contest

Time for another contest! Because they are just so fun and I am bored. Prize 25 $ walmart card. To enter: 1 entry leave a comment telling us about your worst date ever. 2 entry follow me 3 entry follow me on twitter 4 and 5 entry back link to this contest. I will draw and post a winner next Wednesday 23rd at 7pm eastern standard time. Weeee lets go. If you want some great laughs be sure to read the comments of entrants They are very funny

Tuesdays around Town

Image
Wow, I am so impressing myself with this posting Tuesdays on time This first house is on a crowded side street, I couldnt get a good picture because of the off street parking and if you look closely there is a big dog on the porch that didnt look that pleased to see me. The owners have done a lot of work on it themselves and when I went back to get in my car I saw some guy up to his head in a big dirt pile on the side. I dont even want to know what he was doing. Too much work for me. This one, I like the landscaping and I get so turned around driving around town looking for houses to take pictures of and hindering traffic that this one may be a repeat. I am too lazy too look. Finally, I was motivated enough after looking at all the landscaping to add something to my own yard. I think this bridge fits in nicely with all the weeds I am too lazy to pull. I might have to find a new home for the rusty dog though, he doesnt seem to fit in as well now. Hope you like!