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YAY ME Last year I thought I was turning 46 But I was only 45 So I got like a free year This year if anyone asks I tell them I am 56 Then they tell me how young I look AWESOME When that doesnt work anymore then I will know that I am old What a great plan.

Christmas The time to share give love blah blah Whats a mean diva like me to do? Never fear I have some things to share with you Ways to be your evil self while still being in Christmas mode My cousin and I had our babies about six months apart One year I gave her toddler play dough The next she gave mine finger paints Following year her bundle of joy received a gun with 27 annoyingly loud sounds My kid got GLITTER BARBIE My kid poured the tube of glitter in our bed Under the covers so we didnt notice until we got up the next day and I had stripper glitter on my Well you get the picture She won! I sure miss those days Go spread some Christmas cheer to your friends with toddlers for me! Fun times

LOL This is me doing Kinect Dance Central OH YAH I got moves Who wants to take me dancing

I have been really busy lately (last month) Doing an online class There were like 5 tests I think I dont know it is a blur now If you remember I was moaning I wasnt acing them even though they were open book Well Thursdays Finale I was sweating I wouldnt pass it I dont know what it is but if there is any pressure on a test I start freaking out The dumb thing scores it as you are going along so my mind does the math quickly OMG If I miss 4 more I fail 3 2 1 OMG OMG I got 5 questions left and if I Miss one more I FAIL FAIL FAIL its ok internet I didnt miss any But I sat on that last question for 20 minutes Freaking out IF I MISS THIS I FAIL Shaking Crying Yes I am that insane But yay its over YAY ME LOL

I use to get a Speigel catalog every year These things are huge Like door stops They were full of lovely full page ads Glossy paper Shiney new clothes I loved them I kept it on the coffee table for months The thing was so well made it looked like a coffee table book But sadly I am not quite the shopper I use to be It doesnt mean I dont love them I do like me some fantasy shopping and looked forward to getting the christmas issue every year. But this year I got a flimsy 10 page one. Sniff I am off the mailing list Boohoo They figured out I am broke Why does this make me sad? I am not even worth  fantasy shopping anymore Maybe because all I get in the mail now is offers from credit repair agencies How the heck did I get on that list Do they know something I dont haha Maybe i will get a nice Walmart flyer tomorrow Maybe if I order something inexpensive from Speigel I will get back on their list

I soooo am getting one of these I need one of these We all do YAY xbox

I am taking some classes They are kind of intense So difficult in fact the tests are open book The first test I took I got a 90 and the second I got an 86 On an open book test. The instructor assures us we are not all stupid as a 92 was the highest score on the first exam But seriously An open book test? How can you miss any if you are able to look at the book? My family says I am too hard on myself But fess up dear internet Wouldnt you be a tad bit upset if you didnt get 98 to 100 on a test that you can refer to the book with the answers in it? Yes I am that competative Anywhoo at this point I am glad that I am passing But you know what I am blaming it on the internet Who reads an entire article anymore The internet is all bold headlines I glance through get little bits here and there Lindsy Rehab Mel rants click here to LISTEN (not read I dont have time) You Tube LOLCatz (doesnt even spell properly ) I can has a link? Oh click here to lose weight. Pop up

Work at home office  I am setting up my new office While looking at the screen I thought to myself this screen is too small It is so tiny I need a 17 inch Off to ebay Yup there is one I will make a bid Accepted! Score Oh wait. I have a 17 inch I needed a 19 Fail Next my headset wont work with the software I need Dang it Off to buy another one Shoot this one doesnt work either Oh wait I have to disable the onboard speakers Dang it now they both work I had to run some cable extensions Although the length was right it wouldnt fit in the slot properly What the heck its too long Ill squeeze the end in Argh still wont work Why is this plastic thingy so much bigger then the other one Ill melt it a bit with my lighter it doesnt lack much to fit Oh wait that doesnt go in there Shoot it goes in here Argh now it wont fit at all I had to rush out and buy two new cables WTH Why did I want this office again OH right that is it I can be more efficient and make more mo

I went to Staples to pick up something and saw they had all their office chairs on display CLEARANCE Rows and rows of different types and colors I was happily sitting in them all but lets face it an office chair is an office chair and they all bite Each and every chair was marked between 89 to 99 dollars so what can one expect. I was happily plopping my fat butt in them all to see if any of them are better than the crappy one I have at home That seems a fair price so I am sure I can find one I like I am not that picky But then... I sat in a chair That was plush And soft And so freaking comfy OMG I am so buying this chair for 99$ Except It was 399$ Marked down from 499$ Out of dozens of chairs I find the one that is 5 times as much Why is this chair here Now none of them are worth a crap None Because the only chair I want now is the one I cant afford When I was a young girl my mom would constantly berate me for my champagne taste on a beer budget Or accuse me of m

I call this picture I dont know why it is upside down  I need a sound proof office I surfed all over the web for tips and tricks They showed me lovely homes redone in sound proof dry wall  With insulation Beautiful rooms with gleaming walls to put your 6 foot desk and 40 inch monitor and paper mache flowers. Um Yah I dont want to spend money I want to make money Whats a poor lazy white trash girl to do? I will tell you I threw every single area rug down on the floor for a wonderful visual  of 18 different colors overlapping to cover the worst stains I pounded in nails all over the concrete walls and hung up all my too small, out of fashion, why did I buy this clothes. Sprayed Fabreeze all over them to mask the dust, mold , closet must and  how old is this crap anyway smell and Wah LAH Can you hear me now? No No I cant  How about when I scream really loud for someone to bring me a soda Nope cant hear you now either  Success 

I love my iphone I got one when they first came out I listened to so many lectures on why I shouldnt buy one. Why it would fail. Why it was over priced I even nicknamed one co worker IPHONE HATER and that is who he is now and forever more But the people who seemed most offended by the Iphone are Blackberry owners I do not know why I think the Blackberry is awesome too. I just love my Iphone I have no hate for the Blackberry but this........... is hilarious see more funny videos

There is a scene in the movie Goodfellas that always makes me laugh Business is slow? F.U. Pay me Kids in college? F.U. Pay me. I dont remember it line for line but basically it is all Who cares Pay ME! But...... Did you know..... When bill collectors call If you hesitate.......... They start to negotiate Things like.... You can post date the check.... Then they say oh it cost such and such for the pay by check fee Hesitate again they waive it...... Hesitate some more they will waive the late fee.... hmm isnt that nice to know :)

Things are going well I am very happy today So really the only thing one can say is YAY what a great day Hope you are doing well too internet

This show on HBO called Eastbound and Down is about a baseball player who loses his game After being rich and famous he is back home living with his brother teaching PE at a school in his former home town. Poor, forgotten, but not down at least in his own mind. He is still convinced he will be back on top The only thing he has left from his glory days is his jet ski which he takes out when times get bad to get his head together. I do the same thing in my sports car Top down Music blaring I go fast down two lane country roads singing as loud as I can My mom called and my voice was so hoarse she thought I was crying LOL But no I am just doing my own Eastdown and out but I do mine louder and off key

Having been accused of being mean, I like this cartoon. Maybe I am mean I prefer to think of myself as a sarcastic wit. But you know it's all relative to me of course LOL  I am going to try and not be so  funny,charming,sarscastic,honest,mysel f at least for awhile Sounds boring to me though  Don't tell anyone dear internet for all my being mean I am really a softy and I hate how people see right through me.

If you read my blog you know that I love my small adopted town When I was 17 and going into my senior year of high school my mom moved us from the city to this itty bitty town. Not the one I am in now but fairly close The first day of school a fire truck went by and the entire class ran to the window to see what was going on. I jaded city girl stayed seated and thought WTH and looked at the teacher up front But he wasnt up front He was at the window straining to look over the students and saying Does anyone see anything? They all turned around and there I sat alone and erm .....amused, horrified, flabbergasted, staring at them all in contempt. Now of course I get it. I like small towns But there is still a city girl in me that doesn't like everything country. Things like bugs, no mass transit, lack of sidewalks, stores closing on Sunday. Which brings me to this video Warning the man uses graphic language so if you are easily offended dont click it I think the laugh i

One 12 pack of Diet Mountain Dew for the daily consumption of one can each every morning for a happily married couple Day One - Pop on counter, Wife makes glass of ice, puts one in freezer for hubby who is up 30 mins later. Day Two - Still on counter, Hubby makes glass of ice puts one in freezer for wife up 30 mins later Day Three - Still on counter, Wife up first waits 30 mins dry mouth hears hubby making his ice begs for him to make her one too Day Four - Still on counter, Hubby up first makes his own ice yells at wife to put pop in fridge for the love of $%$% cant you put it in the fridge? Day Five- Still on counter, each makes their own glare at each other Day Six - Still on counter two empty ice cube trays in freezer Ahh True love Arent you jealous? hehe

Let do a quiz How well do you know me? While sitting 20 mins in pharmacy waiting for my ADD drugs I did what? a. Wiggled about annoyingly b. played doodle jump c. shopped in pharmacy and made stupid impulse purchases When I start my time of month I am normally a. super freaky emotional mess b. irrational c. surprised when it happens d all of the above My biggest love of my life is a. my car b. my dog c. my family d. we really dont want to know someones feelings will get hurt Who cleans my house a. my mom b. a cleaning team in hazard gear c. hubby d no one Why do I blog a because no one listens to me b because i am full of myself c boredom good luck and whoever gets them all right gets absolutely nothing! yay what fun lol

Means no matter how hot I think I am I cant dance for crap LOL and is it wrong for me to laugh at this He really is amazing but he just looks too dang happy I think this guy is a Diva to the Nth degree one we should all try and imitate