Monday, March 29, 2010

Wish me Luck

I am off to the tax man

Friday, March 26, 2010

Spring means Rebirth

Lovely spring
Signs of life everywhere!
But here, dear internet is the ultimate symbol of rebith
My mother picked these up for me from her doctors office.
Arent they lovely?
Daffodils are the official flower of the American Cancer Society
Be sure and buy some when you see them for sale.
They gave these to her at her last Oncologist's appointment.
They also said she is in remission.
Everything is great and she could live to be 82
Rebirth indeed

We are truly blessed

Say a prayer of thanks with me friends and hug your loved ones or love your hugged ones
Whatever makes you happy
Life is great

Monday, March 22, 2010

So Not Right

I type a lot at my at home job
Like ...ALOT
I have never had a problem with wrist pain or anything like that.
I have kind of always thought the typists who did are lazy,sitting wrong, whiney, you get the picture.
Yes I am obnoxious that way.
Something wrong with you?
YOU must be doing it wrong.
Wouldn't I make a great friend?
No fear internet karma has bit me in the ARSE
My left thumb is like useless
My left hand can not have any pressure on it.
If I do use it I fall to my knees and scream in pain(ok not really but I could oh yes I could!)
I also couldn't open my own medicine bottle
Who the heck makes those bottles?
I couldn't open the Aspercreme either
Is that a sick joke or what, shrink wrapping it and a stupid pull off tab Are you kidding me?
Anyway what is really wrong
What is so not RIGHT
Is I evidently haul my big fat ARSE out of the tub mainly using my LEFT HAND
Yes I was stuck in the tub
Because my big fat above mentioned arse is too big to turn around in above mentioned tub.
That is so not right!!

Sunday, March 21, 2010


I downloaded scrabble for my iphone
You can play other players on facebook or you can play the computer
Evidently, I am stupid as I havent beat the computer once.
Also I dont know the english language as well as I once thought I did
I am too scared to play against strangers
Anyone else a scrabble fan?

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Spring is Coming

How do I know?
Lots of signs
Buds on trees
The Sun is out
The temperature is warming up.
But the main clue, the undeniable clue, is.
I had to shave my legs because I am breaking out the capris

Saturday, March 13, 2010


Me: I am going to redecorate this summer

Him: Oh cool
Him: We need new carpet
Him: Gutters
Him: We should get siding, vinyl siding
Him: But we would need to get new windows first.
Him: If we get new windows we could get central air too as we wouldn't lose so much energy

.....Blink, Blink.......

Me: I don't know about that, I was thinking new curtains and you know, a throw pillow

Him: Oh
Him: That would be nice

WTH Someone is ambitious and it isn't me dear internet

Thursday, March 11, 2010

There's no Ap for Stupidity

I was sitting in the Walmart parking lot yesterday with my handy dandy cool Iphone trying to look up the balance on my card.
I had the Super Duper cool application for my card on it but couldnt get a wireless signal and it would only hook up to edge rather then the 3g FAST AS THE WIND connection
Finally it loads and I keep typing in password wrong.
God forbid it SAVES a password so I have to retype it with my big fat stupid sausage fingers on the virtual keyboard that tries to predict my word although it is a password so no such word exists!
tap tap tap
Is it this word ?
Meh wrong try again
load load load load
tap tap tap
This word?
Try again!

Argh what am I going to do
I dont want to shop and have my card denied
I am not sure of balance
OMG if its denied I dont even have a back up card
I should just go home
I am sure there is money on there
I should just risk it
Stupid Iphone
What good is it if I cant get a good connection?

So dear internet, tell me, have any of you caught on yet?
All this stress?
What obvious fact am I missing?
Give up?
You can call the number on the back of the card for balance inquiries
You know the 1 800 number that is on the back of every single card issued
Call them!
With your phone even.
Like we all use to do long ago and far away in Flintstone land. 
Who would have thought?

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

On Becoming a Woman

The girl is on a diet
She put some weight on when she was going to school ,working full time .moving out to start her own life and getting married
erm so in other words


She is doing great
Of course it is hard work as we all know
Up days and down days.
We got to talking how our entire self perception can change from day to day
Never mind you weigh the exact same
Never mind you been carrying that weight around for awhile and our honeys still love us.
No we have days like this.

I love my curves
Im so hot
Look at my cleavage
Omg I am a cow
Look away
I am hideous
Lets go dancing
Woot I am shaking my arse
I am too sexy for my shirt.
I want to try the pole
My butt is huge
Why does it jiggle
Get away dont touch me
Why dont you want to touch me
I love this shirt
It looks so good on me
Ugh this shirt is huge
I look like someones grandma
This is a moo moo
My jeans are so fat
Yay I got in my jeans
Look at my butt
Wiggle wiggle
Erm yah, and that can be all like in ONE DAY.

So that is what the girl is going through.
Aww my little girl is a woman now.
Truly proof positive she has joined our ranks
Welcome aboard
Isnt it fun?
PS Come over we will talk about it any time, I will make cookies

Friday, March 5, 2010

So Not Cool

 Mom is trying to wear some new flip flops with reinforced sides
I dont know how to describe them but basically they are your flip flop sandles with sides on them so they dont flip flop
She of course has a sore between her toes
I am all like so dont wear them
She informed me it was either those or those pink crocs
The ones that strangers make fun of.
Those were all the rage years ago
I read that the company making them expanded so fast that now they were facing bankruptcy because they fell out of favour so quickly

Stay with me internet, remember I am ADHD diagnosed.

The above convo got me thinking of all the things that I use to LOVE that are so stupid now

Big 80s hair
Hairy chests
Miami Vice look
High waisted jeans

I loved all those things.
All accept perms I always thought that was pretty silly to look like a brillo pad
So what do you think it was that made us change
Over use?
Propaganda that it wasnt cool anymore
A change from it to a new style that reinforced how silly it all was
What do you think?
Is there anything that you secretly still love that you dont dare go with?
Mine is the big 80s hair I could soooo pull it off and kind of wish it come back
For now I will stay with my flat iron and tame my old style locks

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Worthless Psychic Crap

My family is always saying its creepy how I know things

Like I answer questions before they ask them which is really weird but I swear they asked them.

How did you know that?
You just asked me?
No No I didnt I was going too .......but
Oh ...well I figured you asked it I guess
Youre creepy
Thanks I knew you were going to say that haha

Or I will think of someone I havent thought of in long time and run into them
Or i have dreamed of things that happen next day
Or I will call someone out of the blue to ask what they are doing when they are doing something bad (a PERM the girl)
or inappropriate (the tattoo GRANDMA)
I actually left my last job by an overwhelming feeling out of no where
I thought it was a panic attack and just left on a Tuesday after 13 years with no notice.
I found out later they were planning on big changes that would have made me quit anyway and I got to leave without training someone how to do the job so HA!
Yesterday I was telling my friend on msn that I sold the desktop computer and jokingly said I guess I will be screwed if my lappy goes out HAHA
Then I took a nap
YAH guess what happened when I woke up.
Lappy wouldnt boot.
Stupid useless premonitions
Why dont you be useful and give me some lotto numbers or something

Anyway its under warranty my girl had the old lappy we had two purchases back for me to borrow and life is good again

How is your week going internet?

Monday, March 1, 2010

Fast Diet Fast Food

I have been on a diet of some sort since I started this blog (forever really)
I weigh exactly 1 pound more than when I started blogging over a year ago
But I have lost a lot of weight, sadly its just the weight i kept putting back on

I found out from Weight Watchers and their point system that there are lots of fast foods you can eat and stay under 300 calories a meal

Such as

6 pc Mcnugget
Single Cheeseburger
Wendys Chili
Soft Shell Tacos
Reg Roast Beef from Arbies

Yay I can be lazy and eat right too!
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