Sunday, November 29, 2009

From Gamma with Love

Gamma bought Goober a new toy
A lovely chicken
Click here to see Goober enjoy it

aww Gamma is so nice

He seems a little worried I might take it away though?
Who me?
Dont worry Goob your loud obnoxious chicken is safe.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

One of a Kind

I woke up last night with an itch
After scratching, thought I might as well get up and go to the bathroom.
When I sat down something really sharped poked me in the rear.
I jumped up and looked behind me.
It was one of my finger nails.
It must have came off when I was scratching my @rse and was hiding in my jammies.
I had to stop and wonder.
Do you think that has happened to anyone else?
Like ever?
Probably not.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Great Giveaway

You have got to enter this great give away
They are giving away a new phone every hour and a LCD screen every day
Look I entered twice and won!
its located here
Good luck

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Winner is ME!!

I left the house for like, oh I dont know, 10 minutes yesterday.
While I was out the mailman put in a notice of a certified letter in our box.
I am sure he had to be on the look out to be able to leave it whilst I was away.

Certified letters are never good news but it said the sender was OVERTONS
Who is that?
Do I owe them money?
Is it an Ebay purchase?
Why Certified?
It has to be important!
Stupid thing said I couldnt pick it up at post office for 3 more hours!
Hes probably not going to get done with his route till then and has to sit in his car waiting to miss other homeowners.

But then......
I remembered!
Last spring I entered hundreds of sweeps
You can find them on this forum

I did enter a contest for Overtons

They are located here.

First prize
15,000 dollars

So me being me and all optimistic
Pinged, Im'd Tweeted, facebooked, told every single person I know all about it.
We just had to wait three hours.
I wasted that time telling everyone and making a spreadsheet what to do with my winnings.

Long story short, Too late I know

I won a pair of waterskis
No cash option
No water anywhere near me
Not a water person of any sort unless its like you know the hot tub
Closest I get to watersports is trying not to drop my drink on way back from swim up bar.

Maybe I can sell them on Ebay

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Cure for Blues

Feeling blue?
Watch this
If you don't laugh then you are not human and you need to tell us how long you will be visiting our planet.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Upgrade in Humility

I was looking on eBay and the old Iphones are going for 299.00 for the 16 GB
I was all holy crap
I have one of those.
So I went to AT&T and the new Iphones are 99.00
It doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out
I sold my old 16 GB for a sweet 300 bucks.
I bought the new Iphone for 100 bucks
Bragged about it to everyone I know how I made 200 dollars
How clever I am
How crazy the world is
How nuts it is someone to buy something older when they could buy new for cheaper.
Twittered it.
Facebooked it.
Spent the profit on foolish things while waiting for my new super duper upgraded Iphone3GS
I assume the S is for super duper.
It came.
It’s not the S
It’s the old Iphone
The old iphone refurbished
It’s an 8 GB
I so totally downgraded for 200 bucks
What a loser

Sunday, November 8, 2009

I'd go with you But........

(windows classic screen saver)

I was working the other day and some stupid life time movie was on.
I couldn’t find the remote (meaning not in eyesight), so I left it on.
The ending was some passionate couple, separated by weird but noble circumstances, who in the end run away together to live happily ever after in paradise.
Sapping ending of course but yours truly is not heartless.
I thought how nice and romantic.
Then my mind wandered to wouldn’t that be nice to retire to paradise.
Being all ADD I soon started ticking off the reasons it would so suck for me.

My hair gets all bozo big in humidity
I would have to wear less clothing and my spanx would show
I sweat under my boobs
Since hitting my 40s I sweat in Wal-mart what would happen in tropics
My make up would slide down my face and my lover would see real me
Skinny women in skimpy clothes would be everywhere
I would have to wear sandals and I have never gotten a pedicure in my life.
I would have to shave and wax a lot more often

So I suppose I will just stay here in the frigid north and count my blessings

What do my southern readers think? Have you all overcome the irrational fears I listed.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Hipster Dufus

Me:You forgot to do that!
Him: Oh my bag
Me: What?
Him: I forgot. OK? Give me a break.
Me: Did you just say my bag
Him: Yeah my bag, my fault , as in sorry
Me: It's not my bag.
Him: What?
Me: It's my BAD .
Him: No it isnt. It's my bag. They say it at work all the time.
Me: You say my bag at work?
Him:Yes .
Me: Do they laugh?
Him: Ohhhhh yah usually they do.
Me: That's because its my BAD not my bag.
Him: Oh bad.
Me: Exactly.


Sunday, November 1, 2009

Mom Knows

Her: What is that?
Me: What?
Her: There is something in the side of your chair, a sticker or something?
Me: (looking) Oh no there isnt. Thats nothing.
Her: Oh its nothing? What is it?
HIM: It's probably a candy wrapper

Rips out candy wrapper,another,and yet another.

ME: Fine!Fine! They are candy wrappers. Here look!
There are lots of them.
Fine I am weak! Weak I say!

Him: I knew that is what it was
Her: Sorry


I cant get away with anything
How do they do that?
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