Posts

What?

I have never been one of those people who wish they had thought to say that. I have however, wished at times I had thought not to say it. At least out loud Examples below: From cubeville of course. Me: We could just flow chart it. Her: What do you mean? Me: A chart, if this than that sort of thing, cover all the variables and what not. Her: OH YES!! We can use circles and squares. Me: Maybe even diamonds. Her: What? Me: Maybe not, let’s keep it simple Her: That's what I meant. Me: Sweet! Tech 1: Should I bring tools Tech 2: What? Me: You could just use your fingers and teeth. Tech 2: What? Tech 1: What do you mean? From home: Me: Did you get lost? Her: No Me: I thought you couldn’t find it? Her: I didn’t know where I was going. Me: Yes hun that would be you really lost. Her: Shut up Me: We all lose our way now and again. Her Are you going to shut up? Me: Sometimes I flounder about, wonder what I am here for, wonder what it all means. Her: I’m going now. Me: I’m going to the

Charming Annoying Resolutions.

Charming Amazon kindle Guitar hero Him doing grocery shopping Bubble baths Big soft towels A day inside Annoying 3 month backorder on kindle (Really? 3 months? Seriously?) He isn’t getting into GH with me (Prolly cuz he sucks at it hehe) No food in house Knocks at door during bubble baths (Go outside!Isn’t that a male pride thing anyway?) No clean clothes (Wth my housecleaner has gone AWOL) 7 hours online job (Does my evil twin book these or what?) Resolutions 1. Get rich 2. Get thin I am pretty sure I can buy everything else or charm it out of someone if I accomplish those two things. Bring it.

The Reason Why

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The Reason we bought you The reason we kept you. The reason you stayed. The reason we laugh. The reason we love you Merry Christmas Goober. Thank you so much for putting up with us.

A Southern Diva

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I have a high end sports car. It isn’t new though, I bought it off lease from a Florida dealer. I have driven it in the snow and it is all wheel drive that handles very well. Yesterday, I had to drive it on ice and when I made my first left hand turn onto the street it just kept turning. It was quite odd though as I didn’t feel out of control at all. Lovely little sports car just did a perfect U turn as if to say “um, no I don’t think so. We need to go back home.” Now it’s not a Volkswagen but it is a German car. I felt as if Herbie the Love Bug had taken over the wheel. I turned back down my street, passed my driveway, and sweet talked her into carrying on. I am not sure if it’s the German in her or the spoiled Floridian but I had to kiss her @rse all the way to work. I was giving her promises of wax jobs, professional detailing, and high end octane the entire way. What a diva. I love that car.

Five Rules for my Life

1. Plan for the worst,hope for the best. 2. Never burn bridges. 3. Always say exactly what you mean. 4. Never expect another person to do, say, or act a certain way. 5. Always laugh at yourself. Others will laugh with you. This short post was brought to you by, the number 5 and A Lazy Housewife.

There are Cracks in the Ice

I like to think I am a strong confident woman. I normally am quite good at convincing myself that I am There are certain moments that those carefully crafted illusions come crashing down. Over the last couple days I confess to the following: Asked him to go to store as I couldn’t face the crowds After the ice storm had him take me to work not just one day but also day after The entrée I was to bring into work dinner didn’t turn out Panic attack when daughter didn’t answer cell phone after ice storm Called numerous times even though I knew she wasn’t answering Called her fiancé numerous times even though he wasn’t answering Texted her BFF phone frantically even though I wasn’t sure I had the number right Told my mother about it so we could FEED OFF each others fears in detail. Stalked her, his and her bff facebook, myspace, twitter to see last log in. Ate all the raw cookie dough in two days After failing to get my jeans zipped spent twenty minutes searching for fat jeans, only to reali

The Meaning of Christmas

A convo today with one of my dear male friends. Him: I am so bah humbug today Me: Why is that? Him: I don’t know Me: That’s a shame Him: I was listening to talk radio today Me: My God don’t listen to the news on the economy its depressing Him: No it was some Catholic station Me: Well that should be uplifting, aren’t you Catholic? Him: I was, well kind of, I don’t go to church but I listen to this show Me: I would think that should count for something Him: Yes that’s what I thought Me: So what he say Him: Oh that none of it matters no one remembers you when you’re gone anyway Me: Well that is depressing for a priest Him No not really it more like Christmas is about people not gifts or decorations Me Yes of course but I like gifts, don’t you? Him You know what they say money can’t buy happiness Me: Who says that Him: Everyone says that Me: Yeah you know who says that? Cheap people do. (giggles) Him I am not into gifts this year Me: You’re not? Him No they are silly meaningless material