Mandatory Blog Here

Horrible things I have given as gifts with the best of intentions, honestly at that moment in time, I thought these were great gifts! - Mud flaps - Shorts 3 sizes too big - A vibrating pen - A leather vest with fringe (male) - Play dough factory (2yr old) - 1000 piece puzzle solid in color - A monkey on a stick - Assorted pieces of wood - A printer with no cables/power source - Glamour pics of myself - Self warming battery operated socks - 2 cartons of cigs Honestly, all these gifts were given in love with the best of intentions, if any of them intrigues you and you just can’t wrap your mind around how anyone could give such a thing, leave a comment and I will do my best to explain myself.

Dear Santa, I know I told you to get lost years ago when I was a young poor kid and you were either too busy to come see me or scared of the neighbor’s pit bull, whatever chubs, but I will give you one more chance. Since that day I vowed to work hard and never ask any man (especially the fat hairy type who can only come out once a year and pass judgment whilst scarfing cookies and milk) for anything. I pretty much buy it all for me by me thank you very much. Being the kind hearted forgiving type that I am; I will give you one more chance. Please bring me the following for Christmas. Oh and by the way fat man I have been good, very good, the type of good that you don’t want to tell your wife or mother about but that you sit around in a stupor for days remembering good! mm kay? Any of these will suffice and redeem your soul in my eyes: -The magic diet pill (There are magic pills for men whose parts don’t or shouldn’t work, where is mine?) -Shoes and not just any shoes either the ones tha

Yesterday was my birthday and this was a maze of various convos with my mother Her: you want cake Me: sure I like cake Her: you want everyone come over Me: sure why not be fun Her: well when you always working Me: not Saturday Her: ok Saturday Me: we do get our lashes done then though Her: ok well maybe dinner Me: ok cool dinners good Her: well we could have cake later we be done early Me: ok sure cake later Her: everyone Me: sure that be good Her: I am going to make steaks tonight Me: ok but ill be working Her: that’s ok few hours pass Me: I got someone cover I don’t have to work Her: great lets go out for steak Me: ok Her: everyone coming too Me: what Her: oh never mind that a secret Me: what about them Her: everyone is coming along is that ok? Me: erm yah I guess does my dear hubby know Her: no Me: you should tell him? Her: ok few minutes pass texts all 5 mins apart Her:: Yet steak we all going Her:: Yet everyone be there Her:: never mind its all off I am sick forget it I phone her

The only thing I enjoy about winter is the fashion. I was made for fall fashion in my humble opinion I adore sweaters, boots, lush coats, beautifully trimmed gloves and hats. I have a full length leather trench style coat made from lambs leather. It is soft lush lovely but lately I have been wanting fur for some reason So off to ebay I bought a soft suede dove Grey leather coat lined in fur. Sadly it was more a Elvis Blue Suede shoes type UGH The fur was lovely and a removable liner so I took it to my tailor to have her fit it in my existing coat. You could tell she was horrified by the request pushed at with her ruler and said " I don't do fur." Fine! How hard could it be it just a liner. I will do it myself I thought Hours later, fingertips bleedy from needlepricks, I model my new sleek leather coat with luxurious fur liner. Unfortunately all it did was make me look as if I had gained 40 pounds Fine! I don't need real fur anyway! Back on the internet sooner then the

So the Girl Graduated last night, obtaining the long awaited and very expensive Degree. She is the first in our family and I am so very proud. So proud that I can only blame that on the following actions. Things Mom did at her only child's graduation: -Sobbed loudly -Blew nose honking like a wild goose call when auditorium was silent -Promised to be nice around the Fiances Parents -Screamed dinner and drinks on me money is no object after ceremony -Made no reservations -Suggested we sit in bar while waiting for table -3 Long Island Ice teas while waiting for table -1 Long Island Ice tea at table ignored appetizers -Sampling everyone else drink? -Thought I was quite funny and charming, realizing today I was only drunk with pride and liquer -At one point said the phrase, why didnt you just buy him condems hell i bought her condems -Insisted the entire table go to vegas for the wedding and it was all on me! -Hugged and sobbed over girl numerous times exclaiming I never thought you wou

My daughter and I text a lot. Mainly because I am always working and the fact I hate phones. For some reason since the internet and cell phones are so popular I can barely stand to pick up a phone. I love msn,yahoo,twitter, and texting. I think its because I can answer at my leisure and also gives me an opportunity to censor myself. If I am just yammering on phone there is no backspace key to get my foot out of my mouth. Her fiance has texted me on occassion too and once at work we had a texing convo like this. Him: Yay its Goobers (our dog) Birthday! Me: Oh yes it is you are right. Him: Should we come over for his party? Me: Ummm ok Him: I'll bring cake! Me: Ummm ok cake for him or for us? Him: Both!! Me: OK ill buy pizza Him: YAY CAKE and pizza. Me: ummm yah ok tonight then? Him: Dont you want to see me? Me blink blink Me: Of course tonight then? Him: This is your daughter I am using his phone. Me: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i wondered! Him/Her: YAY CAKE Me: YAY!!

Annoying No mocha at starbucks Monday Control tops and spanx don’t do their job as well as before No sun Dry skin Charming Fur lined leather coat Figure hiding cashmere sweater Caramel latte Low humidity hair awesomeness Hugs Holiday tunes on rhapsody