Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Don't you Trust me?

Him: I will eat my McRib later
ME: OK
Him: So dont eat it
ME I would never do that
ME: I would never eat someone elses sandwich
Him: Really, arches eyebrow
ME: I mean i would never eat your mcrib after you told me not too.
Him: I will just eat it now
ME Good plan

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Bad Dog

I have been dissing my dog Goober on my blog quite a bit lately
He really isnt a bad dog
You can check out this site to see bad dogs
Do it later and keep reading my blog
http://www.shitmypetsruined.com/
Or I could compare him to our first dog
Barny who was a dalmation



Barny was insane
My first warning was when we went to look at him and his dad was chained to a tree trying his best to break free so he could eat us, barking ferociously
Barny the puppy was trying to pin his mother down so he could nurse even though she was whining and trying to kick him away
His siblings were bounding over to us to cover us in kisses and cuddles
Never the less
We brought home Barny
He promptly came home and shit in the garage as we got out of car
It took us 8 months to house break him
He ate every single one of my high heel shoes and at the time I had like 35 pairs.
I had foolishly left him alone uncrated for 20 minutes
The first two years of his life I would be holding him down with my knees prying open his moouth and screaming DROP IT DROP IT
Barny thought his last name was SHUT UP
He would bark at anything
I once woke up from a nap and ran around the room beating him with a pillow to the horror of my 4 year old and her best friend
Yes I was napping while toddlers were in my care but hey The Little Mermaid was on and that's a 90 minute nap guarantee!
We took him to see my daughters preschool class and he humped the teacher and ate a bunch of gravel in the parking lot on the way out
He also ate tampons ....so many he would have them stuck in his bum with strings hanging out and guess who tended to those
Little puffs of white cotton would blow around when we mowed the dog run
He also ate a 6 foot jumping rope, a paper towel full of bacon, side note, Bounty really is strong that paper towel came out whole!
and he ate a book from the library titled
There are no Bad Dogs
We kept him through it all
He made Marley from Marley and me look like an amatuer
We lost him when he was 15
He was a bad dog
I really loved him lol
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