Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Diva Days Gone By

It is no secret to my readers that I consider myself a Diva.
I am a lazy one though and I do most my shopping online and have often wondered how did Divas manage before the internet. What about before the TV shopper Channels or worst yet Malls, Walmart, or Strip Malls.

Here is your answer.
They had the Sears Catalog
It's massive and this one is a reproduction from 1897.

Buy yours here.

First I would outfit my baby in this sporty thing.
Do you imagine they parked them outside? Where would you put it? In the carriage house?

I could buy all the latest fashions
Sadly they only have eight pages of woman's clothes.
What would a clothes whore like me do?

I suppose since I wasnt wasting my time aimlessly surfing blogs or watching bad tv, I could learn how to sew and make my own magnificent creations on this wonderful device.

I would probably be too stressed out from all that work though and have to buy a whole bunch of these things, for my woman problems.

How fun!
Just think 100 years ago I would still manage to be fashionable, nervous, and broke.
Yay Diva history

Sunday, September 27, 2009

How to Blow a Diet

First work out a lot so you feel like you can cheat just a little.
Tell hubby yes you can go buy (stupid man purchase request) if you pick me up a candy bar too.
Discover frozen cookie dough in your freezer
Stop riding the stationary bike to eat a coney dog

And there you have it.
See pretty easy isn't it!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Must Dance Now

This baby looks like he just has to dance but he doesnt know why
So funny!

I see a future diva here!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Goober is Worried

I worked out this morning.
Goober looks at me the entire time as if aliens have invaded my body and he doesnt know what is wrong with me.
He cocks his head to the side and whines.
He is probably confused because of all the odd noises I am making.

Transcript below:

Wii Fit vs Me

WF: You're a little shaky
ME: Piss off
WF: Well done keep it up
ME: Gah ouch Hurry up
WF: Good job! Come back every day to improve. You get 1 fitness point!
ME: Geezo for #$%# SAKE! 1 point??
WF: Keep going you are half way there.
ME: Gasp pant ugh huff puff gah
Goober: whines
ME: Goober get out of here go lay down.
WF: You've unlocked a new strenth exercise
ME: Gasp ugh puff

Bike vs Me along with ipod

1 min: If you like it you shoulda put a ring on it
2 min: La la la la lah lah
3 min: Gasp huff puff ugh argh ring on it ugh
4 min: You're sex is on ....gasp ugh pant...fire
5 min: huff gasp argh pant DESIRE

Honestly I dont know why he gets so upset or worried

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


The winner of the dating contest is



Thanks for entering and i will email you for details to send your awesome prize

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Yay We Won

The other day Mom and I had Subway for lunch.
As she was slurping on her giant diet coke I reminded her they had an ongoing contest on side of cup.
She tore off the tickets but couldn't read what was underneath.
We looked closer to no avail.
We even got out these, still no help.

Finally squinting, with glasses, holding it under a huge flashlight, we figured out the entry wasn't on the cup but on the tiny ticket we had torn off.
YAY it said we won
Too bad we smeared all the ink off in our old lady fumbling.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Yay another Contest

Time for another contest!
Because they are just so fun and I am bored.
Prize 25 $ walmart card.

To enter:

1 entry leave a comment telling us about your worst date ever.
2 entry follow me
3 entry follow me on twitter
4 and 5 entry back link to this contest.

I will draw and post a winner next Wednesday 23rd at 7pm eastern standard time.

Weeee lets go.
If you want some great laughs be sure to read the comments of entrants
They are very funny

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Tuesdays around Town

Wow, I am so impressing myself with this posting Tuesdays on time

This first house is on a crowded side street, I couldnt get a good picture because of the off street parking and if you look closely there is a big dog on the porch that didnt look that pleased to see me.

The owners have done a lot of work on it themselves and when I went back to get in my car I saw some guy up to his head in a big dirt pile on the side. I dont even want to know what he was doing.
Too much work for me.

This one, I like the landscaping and I get so turned around driving around town looking for houses to take pictures of and hindering traffic that this one may be a repeat. I am too lazy too look.

Finally, I was motivated enough after looking at all the landscaping to add something to my own yard. I think this bridge fits in nicely with all the weeds I am too lazy to pull. I might have to find a new home for the rusty dog though, he doesnt seem to fit in as well now.

Hope you like!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Are You Listening?

There are a lot of popular songs that i just love.
If you listen to the lyrics and take them out of context they are actually quite disturbing.
If not disturbing they do make me giggle.

examples below:

Can you name the popular songs I lifted them from

She tied you to a kitchen chair, she broke your throne, she cut your hair

I love your pants around your feet
And I love the dirt that's on your knees

As a joke I sent a bottle of whiskey
As you choked you said it made you feel dirty...

You will believe in me
And I can never be ignored

Now maybe
I didn't mean to treat you oh so bad
But I did it anyway

Dont they sound creepy on their own.
These are all love songs.

So funny.
What do you think do you know any of them?

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Not Just Me

Being all fat and out of shape doesnt mean I am not motivated to exercise.
Deciding it was time to be fit and healthy, I took Goober on a brisk walk with me.
You might remember me blogging on his loose leash training here.
I forgot to update you all that it does work.
I use the turn around method.
If the dog pulls you hard going one way, you turn around and walk the other way.
Pretty soon the dog walks besides you because you are so unpredicable.
He does look nervous and tense the entire walk.
I just act as if I dont know why he is always looking up at me.
ANYWHOOOO we went around the whole block!
I know!
Here is a picture of Goober afterwards.
At least now I know it's not just me out of shape.
Poor Goober

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Tuesdays around Town

Since I am such a lazy slug these days and slept in until 1pm, todays Tuesdays are all drive by shootings. I promise to do better next week.

First to give you some perspective, this is what the street looks like that all these homes are on.
I took it to show how weird it is so many different types of homes all thrown together on one street.
All under the monster trees we all love of course :)

You cant really tell from this picture too well but this house is stucco sort of and with the colour and landscaping it looks like it should be down south or in phonix or something. i like it as it looks out of place with the others and I like what they did with the limited spaced yard.

I had to drive around the block to get this huge monster of a house. It is on a corner lot.
Who builds these things? I thought i was a nut with my huge privacy fence now I want one of these It looks like a fortress. I would want to build a moat

Finally this one I featured on one of my first Tuesdays around town but I just cant seem to do it justice. Its massive well loved and so much work has been done to it. I just had to take a few more. I am sure the lady of the house sees me stalking about all the time and is ready to call the cops on me.

Notice the flowers on the balcony with no access that I can see other then that window
Who the heck planted those things?
I moan about bending my lazy butt over just to weed mine.

Hope you like these as much as I do. I think I might invesst in an actual camara rather than using my iphone. Knowing me I would just sell it on ebay though when I was short on cash for one day LOL

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Twilight Town Living

I am always yammering how my adopted town I call Mayberry is like a glimpse into the early century.
Sometimes I feel as if I fell into a freaking Twilight Zone Episode.

To prove I am not all insane and stuff here is a day around town

Today we had lunch downtown

We got this from a street vendor

But we ate beside this little old popcorn stand that is still open on certain days.

Across the street is a Barbershop

Here are flowers that are all along the streets.

Also adorned with stone benches if you should get tired.

If that is not enough to convince you, here is a car along with a gentleman in a 1920s hat.

I told you I wasnt insane.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Someone Should Tell Them

A friend of mine went back to work at an office.
We were gabbing of all the fun things working can mean.
Things like lunches,clothes,shoes, bags, and being go to girl.
But then the convo took a strange and unexpected turn.
It left me laughing and wanting to cry at the same time.

Me: Oh you get to wear pantyhose and heels again
Her: ugh I hate hose, I will just get a tan.
Me: Oh right, I forgot you are young and cute and think they are just for color.
Her: What do you mean? Oh the control tops?
Me: No, they just make your legs look better hold it all up so you dont sag.
Her: What do you mean?
Me: Like your knees.
Her: You have knobby knees?
Me: No when you get older you have knees like this.

Her: Oh how funny.
Me: Yes it is funny, you and I will talk in a few years and have a great laugh.

What you think dear internet? Should I tell her about underwire bras too?

How cute.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Tuesdays around Town

Tuesdays here YAY

This first house I like because it just so HUGE
I dont think you notice the size of it right away because of the front porch
I also like the colour it looks blue
Big Blue
Keeping with that theme, this house here is so tiny.
It looks like it should be sitting in someones back yard as a guest house but it's not.
This tiny house is on the corner sitting proud with all the big houses.
I would last like one week in this one before my own hording ran me out of it.

Since flowers are still blooming around here, I thought I would include this one.
What care this homeowner did on their walk way.
I would do that but I would probably just trample on them in excitment when the UPS guy brought me my ebay purchases.
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