Saturday, May 30, 2009

Moving Day

Her: Should I do this?
Her: Should I do that?
Her: I can do this?
Her: I can do that?
Her: Will he be there, did you call them, should I call her, What did they say?
Her: Should I buy boxes, should I get bags? Should I leave it in the drawers?
Her: I have a hammer and I have some nails.
Her: What time will you be here?
Her: Should I get donuts?

Me: You could clean my house, while we move your stuff
Her: Oh……..ok

Me: Thanks

Her: Lol I can take a hint
Me: I know I am so glad too

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Food Safety


I go to shut the fridge door
It wont shut
Goober is behind me bouncing up and down with his stupid squeaky toy.

slam slam slam

squeak squeak squeak

bounce bounce bounce

Goober get off me
Goober stop it

slam slam
squeak squeak

(*&*& it!

Goober body slams me
WT$#$# ?

Goober get off I am trying to fix the fridge door.

Oh wait......

Dang it, Goober get your toy out of the bottom of the fridge
It wont shut while its in the way.

He must think all poultry should be stored in the fridge.

You can buy one here : Crazy chicken
It even has a sound sample ...very funny.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Moving on UP

Mom’s lease is up.
Move behind me says I
I will says she
Happy day is next week.
I need to pack now she says
Go ahead I say
I hate having boxes everywhere.
You can store them on our enclosed front porch I suggest
She politely declines.
It’s filthy, she explains.
Goober’s pet door is there.
It has dust, hair, and dirt tracked all over it.
Yes I agree, it’s a catch all and not very tidy.
Thanks anyway she says.
But then….
Thankfully…..
She remembered ……….
I do pay her to clean my house.
Have for years now, as a matter of fact…..
And now it is sparkling clean.

YAY

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I Don't Do Hair

It is a beautiful sunny day here today.
I got to do brunch, nails, and run some errands.
The best part is I got to drive Hot Diva Car and put the top down.
As I am zipping down the road I end up behind SBAV ( Stupid Big Arse Van)
It is going so slow GAH
So I get real close of course as that is what impatient drivers do.
Right?
But then I see she has this bumper sticker:




Yikes
I don't do hair.
I just had to pass her instead ;)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Come Play with Me

When my little brother was a toddler, he got his days and nights mixed up.
We would have to play with him to try and keep him up all day.
If that didn't work ,we aggravated him to keep him awake.
It took weeks to get his schedule back on track.
We had to get what we called knock out drops from the doctor.
Finally he slept all night, but he would get up at 5am or some other ungodly hour.

Now I have my days and nights mixed up
I am just like a big toddler

But

I need someone play with me all day or at least give me some good drugs to sort myself out.

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Gamma Gene

As I watched the girl get married to her lovely fiance today
I found myself thinking..........
They are going to have beautiful kids.



ack

I have a Grandma (gamma, nanna, whatever) gene

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

A Mother's Teachings


Convo with girl two weeks ago:

Her: My plates expired
ME: WTF
Her: I know
ME: Why you not renew them
Her: You didnt tell me they expired
ME: WTF it your car, when they expire.
Her: Same times yours did.
ME: You get em renewed?
Her: Yes
ME: I bet you never forget again LOL

So Today I jump in hot diva car to meet a friend for brunch.
Stop off at gas station to get a bottled water.
Look down at hot diva car as I pat her to assure her I will be right back and
My plates are expired

WTF

I bet I dont forget ever again ;)

Monday, May 11, 2009

I was Wrong

Yes dear internet I was wrong!
The Wii fit does work
Eat right do 20 mins a day and I am down 4 pounds in one week
Yay
Plus Goober with his loose leash walking, that works too
He is actually catching on after numerous lessons and we managed walked around the block.
Yay exercise does work
Who knew

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

New Blog Header

Some of you have asked about my new Blog Header
Fab I know.
But, sadly not my design
My Blog buddy Killer B Designs made it
His site is here :
http://killerbdesign.blogspot.com/

Email him for a quote.
He loves making them!

Sunday, May 3, 2009

A-Ha Moment

I have heard on the news, tabloids, rumors, or something, that Oprah is trying to sue for the copyright of the AHA moment.
Evidently she is the only one who has them.
But I have had a few of my own.
They are life changing moments that I won’t ever forget.
I will share one with you because you know….its all about me right?
When my darling daughter became school aged, I rejoiced in the freedom.
I had been waiting years to get out of my self imposed prison.
Yes I stayed at home.
Yes it was a noble cause and worth it
Keep in mind judgmental readers; we had no internet in those days.
I am talking all Wilma Flintstone style doing crafts and what not in order not to go crazy.
So when she danced off to school half days, I rejoiced and got a part time job.
Dear hubby and I worked separate shifts so he would cart her to school.
Dress, bathe, and feed, our precious cargo.
But I did not quite let go as easy as that.
I laid out her clothes
Dictated her hair styles
I mandated meals.
I passed judgment and critiques on a regular daily basis.

Then she brought home a picture, drawn at school titled simply MY FAMILY
The original is gone (thrown away, cried over, destroy the evidence type of thrown away)


AHA
I am a screaming head of authority lording over the small insignificant members of my family.
Note they are all equal and same size, cowering and clinging to one another.

The result?

Chill
Resulting in years of cookies for breakfast
Watching the same episode of Barny 18 times in a row
Wearing the same purple pants and tiara to school all week
Hair wild crazy and untamed
Sloppy messy house with toys scattered all over.
But mostly a happy chilled out family to enjoy
Every single day……..

AHA indeed

Friday, May 1, 2009

Stimulate the Economy

Times are so scary right now
Weird germs floating about all over the world
Car companies going bankrupt and merging at same time.
High unemployment.

Being the conscientious citizen I am I want to do my part to help.

This is my neighbors yard here:
She pays someone to come out once a week to kill all her weeds and fertilize her yard.
As do all my other neighbors
I am the only one who doesn't do it.

Here is my yard.
But you see I am being a good citizen not lazy.
If I killed all my weeds there would be no more on the street!
All those lovely lawn men who come out (you know the young hot tan ones) would be out of work after a couple seasons

I just cant in good conscious do that.
I mean could you?
Really
;)

Winner

First thank you for entering
Second thanks for the great entries and how funny some of them are.
Third sorry for late posting

The winner by random drawing is

drumroll

dixie the chicken plucker

Congrats and contact me with your mailing details

Yay

Come back often I love doing contests
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