Friday, February 27, 2009

Meh

There are lots of perks to working at home but so far the best one I have discovered is the Meh factor
What is meh?

I will show you few examples

Did you go to store?
Meh

Do you want to go tan?
Meh

Did you go ship those packages?
Meh

Did you update your blog?
Meh

Do you want to go to the dollar store?
Meh

Did you get gas?
Meh

See? See what I mean?
Isnt that great?

You can actually slop around in your jammies for three days straight and just say Meh.
No one argues, questions, threatens, or judges you for it.

Because you are at home.
You are at home all day long.

I wont think about it now. I will think about it tomorrow

Total Bliss.

I will try and update again soon
But......
Tomorrow I have to tan, shop, ship, update, get gas and I am just so freaking busy.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I Hope you Dance


I read an interesting article stating there may be a link between madness and genius

Sir Isaac Newton,

Said to have been bipolar with bouts of enthusiasm and depression
According to his biography he once stuck a hat pin in his own eye as part of his experiments with light, vision, and refraction. It was stated he would get up in the morning and be unable to move from bed because of all the thoughts that rushed into his head upon waking. He also spent many years practicing alchemy, convinced he could manufacture gold.

John Nash

He was the mathematical genius the movie a beautiful mind was based on.
Suffering from schizophrenia he has been quoted as saying:

“One aspect of this is that rationality of thought imposes a limit on a person's concept of his relation to the cosmos"

Also thought to suffer mental illness are Edgar Allen Poe, Beethoven and Vincent Van Gough.

Why am I so serious today dear internet? I don’t know!

I think we should all embrace our inner crazy.
I think that everyone is on this side of that straight jacket and it’s a thin narrow line.
I know I have been on both sides.
I’ve made tons of rash decisions all through out my life.
They all turned out to be great experiences though so I lucked out.

It could easily have gone either way.

She married him after only dating four months?

Crazy: She is nuts
Cool: How romantic

She joined the Army? Today? She’s leaving tomorrow?

Crazy: Oh my god what is wrong with her.
Cool: You were in the army? I bet you have been all over the world!

She bought a car off eBay? Without looking at it or driving it?

Crazy: What is wrong with her?
Cool: Oh my god what a great car, you bought it without seeing it? Wow

She quit her job with no notice, nothing, on a whim?

Crazy In today’s economy? She is nuts!
Cool: She did? Wow I wish I had the nerve to do that.

So watch that line, dear internet, dance on it if you like, and cross over now and then for brief periods but don’t let it out of your sight. You might not find your way back. ;)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

No Time


(buy it at amazon here)

Sorry I haven’t updated in a while dear internet.
Please forgive me?
I was just so very busy.
Don’t believe me?
Look a small sampling what I have done so far this week.

Ripped my body hair out by the roots with an at home waxing kit.
Found this website: here (if you can't get in it's too cool for you.)
Watched all of The Sopranos with subtitles! ( Fark me? Fark you!)
Managed to leave mom in center of Wal-mart parking lot in pouring rain
Ate a lot of pasta
Paid bills and ignored overwhelming urge to go gambling.
Wallowed in pity for a few hours because I couldn’t go gambling.
Tanned
Entered numerous contests and sweepstakes and made elaborate plans what to do with my winnings.
Slept 20 hours in a 48 hour period.

So see dear internet, you have to forgive me.
I mean who can manage such a life?
Fark me? Fark you. I’m sorry Tony ;)

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Contest Winner

First thank you everyone who entered
What great fun
Second please come back often as this was so fun I will have to do it again!

The winner is

Smooshy who wrote this comment:

Smooshy said...

The worst gift I ever received was this past Christmas from my father-in-law. A necklace made out of a crocodile claw, it's hideous! And in bad taste seeing as how I'm a vegetarian. I have no idea what some people are thinking when they're gift shopping.


Thanks Smooshy and hope you like this one better
Please contact me asap with your mailing details

Organise your Home and Get Cash

I dropped my purse face down and all the loose change fell on the floor.
While cursing and grunting to bend over and pick it up, it occurred to me that I have loose change everywhere
Any open freaking container, bag, pocket, jar, piece of furniture, or car has change in, on, or under it.

They need to be in one spot!
I will do that now!
I proceeded to plow through rooms, flipping cushions, rattling pockets, empty drawers, and shaking bags.
I ended up with two Tupperware bowls of loose change.

Wow

Feeling proud of myself for getting the coins chaos under control, I looked at the gleaming piles of cash as my payment.
I ran off to a coin for cash machine.
80 bucks!
Look how productive I am.

I deserved a treat.
Two stores, lunch, and one tanning session later I staggered home.
I threw the few coins left over from my windfall on the table, dropped my bags and gazed in horror at destruction in house.
It looked like a tornado had gone through here.
Cushions flipped drawers out, scattered containers, and coats all over with pockets askew.

This trying to get organized crap is really hard.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Sometimes Needed

Sometimes everyone needs a bit of inspiration.
This one is almost perfect in my opinion
The ending though with the man and son reference annoys me.
Besides that is it perfect.
Enjoy!

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

-Rudyard Kipling

Saturday, February 7, 2009

We Interrupt this Contest for a Word from God

I know I mention it a lot, but I drive an itty bitty sports car.
I only do because I love it so freaking much, I can’t help it.
The down side to it, and it’s a small one, hardly worth noticing, is its so itty bitty those that the big fat arsed SUVs and Vans don’t always see me.

The other day this stupid big van, I guess we can call it a SBV, pulled out over in our lane like we weren’t there.
Luckily, I am like all kind of awesomeness defensive driver type in a car with lightening reflexes so I easily avoided collision.

I don’t even get upset when things like that happen.
I assume chick must be in a hurry.
Maybe she is carting around kids, or going to four or five stores to get her grocery shopping done as cheaply as possible in her big old gas guzzling SBV.
Who am I to judge?

This time though, I chased her down.
She kept going faster, flipping lanes and so did I
I am sure she was worried, because she knows what she did wrong.
Oh yes she did know!

She saw my laughing face in my shiny car bearing down on her to get closer
I couldn’t help myself.

Because, you see the SBV that almost hit me and tried to kill me had this verse on the back window and I just had catch up.
I had to catch up to snap a picture for you, dear internet.

Is it a sign from GOD or did she read it wrong?
Is she like misinterpreting it thinking she has to kill us first?
I haven’t decided yet.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Regifting Contest!




I have decided to hold a contest!
If you enter and win you get this lovely thing.
A 80gb Hi Speed USB 2 80gb external disk drive.
Super duper thin and cool!

Here is the product description:

Get stylish, compact, portable storage with the Little Disk, Design by Sam Hecht. Easily carry your photos, music, videos and files on this petite mobile solution. Designed exclusively for LaCie by Sam Hecht, it has a high-gloss, black elegance with clean, simple lines and comes with a removable protective cap. The integrated, extractable USB cable pulls out and retracts so it can never be lost or forgotten. The LaCieSync software allows you to bring your important data with you safely. Just plug the Little Disk into any PC to access and modify your files, emails (Microsoft Outlook) or personal settings and it will sync updated data back to your computer with AES 128-bit encryption (Windows only).


Yes I am regifting
Shhhh dont tell anyone internet.

You can have up to FIVE chances to enter.
Entry #1: Post a comment on this entry telling me what things you have regifted. Or the silliest worst gift you have received.
Entry #2: Subscribe to ME by Subscribe to my Feed(to do this look in the top right corner) and let me know that you did.
Entry #3: Add me to your blogroll (let me know in the comments that you have done so).
Entry #4 Which will earn you 2 more entries: Make a post about my contest on your own blog (you can leave a link to the post in my comments or email me).

After all the entries are collected, I will hold a random drawing on Wednesday Feb 11th and will announce the winner by 7 pm EST that day.

Good luck!
PS if you have time read the comments stories left by other entries. They are HILARIOUS

PSS this contest is closed but thanks for entering
if you like contests there is one over at http://sunglasswarehousegiveaway.com/
a free vacation
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