You Can Yell at Me

Since leaving cube-ville (h3ll?), the quest has been for the perfect phone.
I knew they would call me in desperation, want, need, omg what we do without you please!
I wanted to be set up to ignore them properly.

I have a land line but it’s this dumb wireless phone.
The phone would ring but it would never be on its cradle.
It would be under a cushion, under the sofa, in the bathroom that was if the stupid thing was even charged.

In frustration I bought an old fashioned corded phone tethered forever to the wall
Argh but no caller ID
No worries I hooked up the old answering machine
Argh they all hang up
No worries I will star 69 the sneaky callers
Argh it cost like 75 cents or something and if you do that every day a couple times, it can add up.
No worries I will buy a cheap tethered wall phone with caller id on the handset.
Argh you have to pick the stupid thing up for the caller id to register, and you have essentially just answered it.
No Worries I will look real quick and hang up.
Argh I don’t think that is going over well with everyone

So finally!
I found this phone
It’s huge
The numbers are humongous.
But best of all, the thing yells the number out at you in this creepy computer voice.
COOL
I don’t even have to stop what I am doing now (get up off my fat arse to ignore callers)

Now if someone I didn’t want to talk to would just call me ;)

P.S. Yes I know it is meant for older people who cant get around and have hearing/seeing impairments, but its great for mean people like me too!